Into the Wild Wood and Home Again

It's a dark and chilly start to the day, and I'm grateful for coffee. Yesterday, as I was disassembling the pool, I caught my foot in some tall grass and then hit the ground pretty hard. Full-on face plant into mud (hullo, bugs). Twisted my ankle and knee a bit, hit my elbow...yeah, I'm a bit sore, and I had trouble getting up (and there was no one around to help me). Ah, graceful . I'll mend, but the stiff neck is a downer for sure. That said, I hope to finish putting it away today, assuming it dries well.  Yesterday's incident just underscores that I'm not as young and able as I used to be, and it's humiliating in a lot of ways. The halcyon days of high summer are long gone, and we have chill and heavy dew, fog and crickets instead. A squeeing catbird is complaining, right outside my living room window. It's reminding me that soon, very soon, the A/C units must come out and be put away. I'll need some help with that; I can't lift them out of th

There's a simple melancholy that comes of looking at an empty pool, the foam noodles like forgotten pastel pasta stuck to the bottom. The weather is predicted to be dry for the next day or so (amen), so I hope that we can get it disassembled and stowed before more rain comes.  But I'm not rushing. I'm tired. This first week, coupled with house chores and babysitting, has left me flattened. I slept in this morning, and it's still foggy...so, coffee it is. G has his daily IV antibiotics appointment this afternoon, but other than that, I have no plans to do much. Except ice cream. Our adventures in potty training have involved rewards of bingo markers (tokens) for successful potty events. These have been accumulating in a glass vase on the shelf in my living room. Today, the plan is to redeem the tokens for an ice cream at Super Secret in Bethlehem. Holly has no idea, so this will be fun! Other than that, probably I'll just pick some more tomatoes. And maybe, just mayb

How wonderful to have a computer that is not grinding, growling, blinking, blitzing, and sputtering. I'm beginning to think the old one was my spirit animal. I'd forgotten how tired the first week of school can make me; I was snoozing in my chair around 9pm, and slept hard last night. The dulcet tones of "beepbeepbeep" of my alarm clock were not the most welcome sounds. I slept with the window closed and the A/C on last night, mainly because someone in the neighborhood was burning something or other; maybe a last of the summer wood fire outdoors or some other thing like that. So, I was not privy to the crickets, the hushed street noises, or the rooster. At any rate, I slept better than I have most nights, so I'm grateful. Today is the last work day of this week, and I have a few things to manage there, mostly paperwork and so on. I promised to go through the student handbook for typos, and while I was told "no rush," apparently it is needed right away. G

Today, we start the excerpts from Beowulf in the old textbook; the newer text is dismal. The translation is boring and pedestrian. I am hopeful of this new crew of Sophomores; they seem alert and ready to dig into new ideas. The Juniors, with a few exceptions, are all kids I had last year, so we picked up where we left off, for the most part. That's one blessing of being a teacher in a very small school; we know these kids, and we almost "loop" with them. That all said, G's surgery went well, or so we've been told-- I'm no judge, but he's hopeful that this time, along with the daily IV antibiotics infusions (yes, back and forth every day for the next few weeks), will put him back to rights. I sure hope so.  That said, I am moderately hopeful that we can find a rhythm for our days, one that is a lot less chaotic. I see there's a fall festival planned for the end of October here at the park- maybe we can go. I have not fully given up hope on seeing one p

Day One at school was a good one; students were nice, we got things rolling, and I didn't freeze (I think they adjusted that new air system). The home-front chaos was not too bad, except my computer is dying. It took me more than two hours to get it to stay on, instead of either blitzing or blinking to black, or just not loading. I ordered a new computer, which is a bit of a financial stretch right now, but since the entire world is now digital, I need access. ugh. But yeah, the new one is due to be here Wednesday, so we'll see what's what.  (Full disclosure, I'm typing this in the evening, but will set it to post tomorrow morning--hope it works.) G has his second surgery on the horizon, and weeks (yes, plural) of IV antibiotics ahead. Add to that a few other doctor appointments. What a trip. I can't help but worry about every stupid thing, from his health to our finances, but we are in this to the end, so here we go. Pray it's the path towards healing, please.

VERY short post. It's Day One.  That said, I suspect that school-time will be the least chaotic part of my day. Meg is working 10-7, G has a doctor appointment at 2, and Holly will be with me/us for later afternoon/dinner/tubby so Tim can go get Meg from work (they are down to one vehicle). I will fall asleep by 8pm, I think.  In fact, the week will likely be a confetti in the blender kind of week. G's second surgery on Tues., other doctor appointments (and G will need rides due to freshly opened up wound), Meg's schedule (including a trip to Tufts on Wednesday), and me trying to adjust to work/home/crazy train stuff.  We will manage, but I think it'll require buckling up.  Wish us luck.  C

When I was a young person, my dad taught me how to play a card game he called "Hi-Low-Jack," but which other folks call Pitch. No matter what it's called, we played for hours and hours. It's a game of strategy, of some risk taking, and a little bluffing as well. Players are dealt three cards at a time, twice over, to hold six in their hands. Based on the strength of what is dealt, face cards and tens being of higher value and low cards only used to "take a trick," players then bid anywhere from two points to four, or they can bid "smudge" (controlling every trick and thus gaining five points). The bidder bases their offer on a master suit that will determine the path of the game, and the dealer can take (match or raise) a player's bid or let them play it. If the player who bids is successful, all is well. If they don't make the bid, they "ride" for the points they thought they'd make, usually casting them into the cellar hole.

Foggy, as has become the usual case. And again, in my brain and in the landscape outside the window. No bear activity last night, which is nice.  Today, when it warms up, and dries a bit, I'll attempt to get some of the back yard mowed. Attempt is the word: I have bad feet and knees, and the activity is going to be daunting. The grass is unruly, and I will likely be living on pain killers for a few days. But it must be done, not for purely aesthetic reasons, but to keep ticks and so on at bay. To pay is a luxury we can't manage right now, and the grass will not wait any longer. Unless I can't do it, and then it'll be moot.  Last evening, G and I went to dinner with a poet friend of mine, someone I have known for a whole lot of years. It was super nice to get out, to sit in the sunshine, and to talk about a wide range of things. We needed the respite, after such a depressing summer. And the news on his foot is still unsettled, and the road ahead is a long one. Some peopl

The fog is thick today. Both outside and in my noggin. Two days of PD, with so much stuff, both professional and personal, going through my brain, has made me very slow and tired. The new air system at work is quite the upgrade, but let me tell you this: I've been pretty chilled up in 201. I hope they can get it regulated so we are not frozen in place for the whole year. It gets cold enough up there in the winter, but this was uncomfortable, even with a sweater. What to wear now? I am eternally puzzled. It's not any warmer in my house, too. I am hesitant to turn on the heat; instead, I grab a blanket. The forecast was initially for warm and sunny for the next several days, almost enough to give me hope about the pool-- alas, the updated forecast is not so bright. In fact, rain/showers dominate. Gross. I am seriously tired of rain. It's affecting my plans (the few I have), the squashes are not producing, the bees can't forage... this rainforest situation is pretty depres

I am fully enjoying reading Heather Cox Richardson's reports from the DNC, and the news clips are full of hope as well. I am too much of a worrywart to get excited, but I feel like I can breathe a little. But still, but still ...right?  That said, the damned bear has been back a few times. Last night, I'd just fallen asleep after a super long day with cold and dreary weather and a chilly classroom, when the car alarm went off. Meg's husband had hit it to scare the bear off (it worked), as she was due in from work and he really didn't want to see her have to take on a 300lb bear after working a 12 hour shift. (I personally think that Meg would have easily won that argument, but then, I may be biased.) Suffice it to say, though, I had a hard time getting back to sleep for a while, and it was stressful dreams. But then I woke up again around 1:30, used the bathroom, and returned to bed to fall asleep with no stress dreams. Amen. I got some actual sleep, and the alarm actua

Yeeeps, someone should have told me to go to bed earlier. I'm up, but functioning is gonna take a bit. Today, all the teachers and paras head to Profile HS to gather (they say there's breakfast, but I don't trust that overly much), to have the "convocation" gathering. Years ago, there used to be a guest speaker, and one year, it was a really funny guy. Our budget doesn't allow for that, so this is more along the lines of, "hey, these are the new people at these schools, these are the veteran teachers --stand up in five year increments-- and holy moley look at the handful still standing after 25 years..." And we have on the agenda a discussion about Title IX changes, and I don't know, whatever all else. Then we'll scatter to our home bases, and put things in order for tonight's Open House.  In a way, it's okay by me that the weather is dreary and chilly. I'll get what I need to do done, come home for a bit, then head back for 5pm.

The weather has turned decidedly cooler, and still damp. I don't like it when summer hides her face like this, but it's partly due to the two full moons and the fringes of hurricanes. I can't change it, so I have to change how I think about it. I have plans ( O NO!! ) for today, so we'll see how that all turns out. I've got to figure out some personal balance, and today's it. I won't jinx things by recounting what is on the agenda. That all said, I finally slept better. It's been weeks of broken sleep with chaotic and stressful dreams. I don't know if this is a turn for the better, but it was one night for the better so far, and I'll take it. Better sleep makes for a better day, clearly, so that's a good start.  I have a meeting at work this morning, one that I requested, to discuss the schedule for the writing lab, which I hope will be reimagined as an academic support center. It's grant-funded for the second year, which is nice, but I h

This might be heretical to say, but I don't identify myself (willingly) as a teacher, first and foremost. I see far too many of my colleagues, especially the elementary ones, who are so engulfed in this persona that they forget to be human , first and foremost. Yes, I teach. And yes, most of the time I'm happy to do so, but it's not who I am . It is what I do for work, it is my career, it puts food on my table, and sometimes, even joy in my heart. But I am a multi-faceted human being, and I wear many hats every single day. I am not exclusively one thing or another; I, like, Walt Whitman, "contain multitudes."  I am really hesitant to define myself by a role I occupy. Wife, mother/grandmother, family member, community member, parishioner, employee, writer, cleaner-of-the-house-and-cooker-of-the-meals...and the list gets longer until, finally, I can take the long view and state that I am a member of the human race. And that's important; we are one race. That&#

No bear news, I'm happy to say.  And no rain, yet (though the forecast has rain in it). I hope to do more mowing today, after this fog lifts (both mine and the actual lingering greyness outside). After church, I'll grab a quick breakfast, and then, if the weather is permitting, I'll tackle some mowing. Likely, it'll have to wait 'til the afternoon, but we can hope. If I can't get outside early, then I will read. I am feeling the pressure of not having spent the time I need in order to begin writing cogently about the first of two books on my desk. Mental scramble, coupled with a lack of time to focus, with a soupcon of anxiety and worry-- yeah, that summer project went by the wayside. I have "promises to keep" and I will buckle down and do it.  It's hard to grasp that I'm back to work on Wednesday. Granted, it's pre-term professional development (okay, iffy breakfast with bad coffee, a speaker, a lot of requisite clapping), and then reorgan

Rotten bears .  Well, one in particular; a bruin clocking in at, I would estimate, 300 lbs. Nosy, opportunistic, and clearly well-adjusted to human existence. This bear tips trash barrels, and now, rips open storage totes. We have him on camera this time-- and G, at 1:30 this morning, was hollering at him out the door. It's not like there is a lack of forage out there-- tomatoes on the vine, low-hanging pears and apples, for example-- but this doofus of a bear prefers to go rooting about for spoiled things and bags of dog poo, cat litter, and dirty diapers. Gross. That said, it's unbearable. (And yes, I am proud of that obvious pun.) Yesterday, he must have been waiting, and cruised through somewhere between 6:15 am when I got the paper off the step and when Meg came out to wheel the barrels to the curb for trash pick up. Broad daylight, mind you. Last night, it was under cover of darkness, but it is unnerving. I got the inkling to close the dining room window last night just b

The battle of the memes and the trolls has commenced. Not the political ones (those never end), but the ones about teachers. "Not in it for the income, in it for the outcome" irritates me so much, as does the perennial remark about having summers off and being paid.  Ugh. Teachers are educated and dedicated professionals, often with as much education as many legal and medical professionals. I hold two Masters degrees and 37 years of experience, but that does not carry a lot of weight with the general public. The state governmental restrictions on what teachers can say and do, what they cannot say and do, and what the g-pop thinks we ought to be saying and doing comprises a long, long list. The expectations hover somewhere between being a parent, a social worker, and a magician. But if we do any of those jobs well enough, then we are criticized and castigated for "over-reach" or indoctrination. Ya can't win . Never mind, there's a thing call the curriculum,

I always have to count the years, because I don't trust my memory or the math. As of today, let's say around 10:30 am, G and I have been married 37 years. Also, ten years ago today, around 4pm, we signed our contract for the house we are in. (Yes, we gave each other a 30 year mortgage--do we know how to do it up or what?) Due to all the reasons, we are not celebrating in any photo-worthy style. We usually don't do much anyhow, mostly because G is working and never takes a vacation. Well, this year, it's the opposite: he has not been to work since June 4th, and he's been literally under foot. Either way, it's "for better, for worse," and mostly we've been pretty good, all told. I just hope year #38 is a little less medically eventful.  That all said, we'll head out for brunch after I read at church this morning. It's the Feast of the Assumption of Mary, and she, as our spiritual Mother, is a darn fine example of having to put up with a whole

I used to love this time of year: crisp mornings, thick morning fog lifting later, to show forth a warm and sunny day. Crickets sing the end of the season, and apples hang heavy on the branches...  Okay, I'm channeling Keats a little. Reality creeps in a bit: it's almost time to engage in the activities of getting ready for autumn, and the list of chores and must/should-do things grows each day. Clean the wood shed for the pellets, tie up the grape vines (if we can), watch for apples and pears to be ready to pick, schedule a furnace cleaning, clean the pellet stove, and on and on. The things I wanted to get done this summer have been set aside for the most part, and we've been only able to manage each day as best we can. It will have to be enough.  If today warms up enough, I'd like to get into the pool with Holly, but the water will have to warm up quite a bit. I cleaned it yesterday and retrieved the sinking pool cover (too much rain). The water was really chilly, and

I am hopeful of a relatively relaxed day today (but who knows?)-- I tried to sleep in, but my squirrel brain wouldn't let me. I woke up with an ocular migraine in only one eye (it's not the first time), so I have shiny kaleidoscope vision. It'll pass, but it's weird.  We had sort-of plans to do something fun today, but that's gone out the window. Maybe we'll make something up later on, but probably my day will involve picking tomatoes and putting chlorine in the pool on the off chance it ever warms up enough to use it again this year. Other than that, I have few plans. I'd love to sit and read, maybe I will.  Meg and I have penciled in plans for next Tuesday, which is the last day of "freedom" for me. I hope those plans hold. It's not a lot, but it's something out of the usual routine. Just brunch and a nail appointment, so maybe that won't offend the " plans? you? " gods. I have made dinner plans with a poet friend of mine fo

Meg and Tim will be heading home, I'm told, this morning. He was set free from Tufts clutches late yesterday; it turns out that what happened was likely his body's response to injury is now a fever, since he's immunosuppressed. Sounds like an interesting medical thesis research paper to me. At any rate, we had another sleepover last night, and Holly slid off the air mattress around 11:30pm. Poor bean. She is fine, but her yawp impelled me down the stairs to check on her. Geoff heard her, but since he can't get up and going too quickly due to being crutches-dependent, I beat him to it.  At any rate, she was already back on the bed and ready to settle. She slept til 6:45am. I, on the other hand, was awoken by the next door neighbor tossing trash bags full of aluminum cans into the back of his truck at 4:21am. Sigh. The penalty for sleeping with the window open instead of using the A/C.  Today, we will bake banana bread, and I'll manage some house chores and laundry. I

Good morning! Right now, I'm looking at a sleepy toddler who finally settled down around 10pm on the huge air mattress in my living room. She is grumbling about the rooster next door: "He keeps cockadoodling. I want to sleep."  Since I have zero pull with the rooster, I guess she'll just have to try to ignore it. G is still sleeping, too, which is odd for him. I hope all is well in Boston, too; I spoke with Meg and they are still ruling things out, but she seems a little more hopeful that it's not an emergent thing. I'll check in with her later on.  And I am the reader at church this morning, which is why I'm up and trying to get my brain focused. I am hoping for a relatively quiet day, but we'll see how that goes. I need to bake bread, and since it's a lot cooler today, that should be fine. And Holly and I will make some banana bread, too, since it's one of her favorites (and I have a flotilla of bananas in my freezer).  The world ticks on as

Hey folks, things are unsettled --even more than they have been-- and your prayers, good thoughts, and positive vibes are needed and welcome. Geoff continues to heal (we hope), but that road is rocky and uncertain. He's pretty much out of commission for the foreseeable future, even though he *thinks* he can do more than he is supposed to. Crutches are a pain, but are critically necessary. Thus, he has next to no practical mobility. Tim is back in hospital in Boston, and they will be trying to ascertain the source of the fever he's running and has been for a couple of days now. I have zero idea what is up, but we pray it's not another huge hurdle. Meg is doing her best, but it ain't easy. She's headed to Boston in a few hours, and we hope she'll be able to come home in a few days. She is once again not able to get to go to work, so help is always appreciated. G and I have Holly, a friend of Meg's has the new puppy, and we're just gonna do our best.  The r

I'm pretty sure I don't have one single smart thing to say. My brain is tired from a long but interesting week of lectures and workshops. It's raining again. G is on crutches, the wound is not doing too badly, but there's still a very long and undetermined road ahead.  Did I say it's raining? It is freakin' pouring, forever it seems. We've had maybe one non-rain day (that was Wednesday). And no dry days in sight til probably next Wednesday-- which is when G goes for another check-in. Our anniversary is next Thursday-- this year, we are likely not doing one dang thing. He is on a low to no-carb diet, so that lets out a whole lot of festive foods, especially going out to eat, even if he could navigate safely. Probably I'll make the same ol' food, and watch TV.  I've been signing up for more poetry readings online-- it's all I can get to, it seems. I would LOVE to see/do something live. Maybe this fall, but we'll have to see. Weathervane The

So, it appears the GOP-MAGA crazies are full-on using the Nazi playbook as a map. This is an excerpt from Heather Cox Richardson's Aug. 7th Letter: " But advance reader copies of Roberts’s book are already in the hands of reviewers, and Madeline Peltz of Media Matters is posting some of the content online. In it, she notes, Roberts 'rails against birth control, in vitro fertilization, abortion, and dog parks. He says that having children should not be considered an ‘optional individual choice,’ but a ‘social expectation,’' and that reproductive choice is a “snake strangling the American family.”   The Nazis had a breeding program, too-- stay tuned, o fertile turtles. You might be conscripted to bear children for the good of the country. UGH. Add to this, things like getting rid of Head Start, school lunches, and PLUS loans.  I don't even have the brain power to begin to unpack the depth of evil social engineering that this grand scheme has put forth. What have they

Look for the bare necessities... The simple bare necessities Forget about your worries and your strife I mean the bare necessities Old Mother Nature's recipes That bring the bare necessities of life... From Disney's The Jungle Book (1967) I loved this movie so much growing up, and I could (and still can) sing all the words. What I'm not as in love with is real-life bear encounters. In 2019, I came face to face with a momma and her two cubs at The Frost Place. That is a long story for another day. At home, we've had more than one encounter with a bear with the beehives in the past as well. Last night, one decided to tip our trash barrel over right by the door to the house. Geoff heard it, and I went out to fix the bin, and wow, the bear was maybe ten feet away, moseying along by the woodshed. His/her butt was wide and glossy, and it must weigh in over 300 lbs. I shut the door.  This same bear has been making the rounds in our general area for a while now, and folks are r

Good morning!  Yes, I am a little late posting today but I didn't sleep all that well until about 1:30am. Busy brain problems, mostly fueled by a busy brain day and the residual stress about G's surgery. Which, by the way, seemingly went fine-- he goes for the post-op check up on Thursday. Please, keep him (and us) in your good thoughts and prayers that finally he is on the road to healing.  That said, yesterday's writing conference day was pretty good. The morning session was interesting, and the people in my break-out workshop that meets every afternoon are nice. I miss my usual Frost family, though. The focus of this conference is much different, though the underlying philosophy of caring and careful attention to the work is intact. But the group is reserved (so far), and I don't know if we'll laugh with each other in the same way that I'm used to. No matter; I'm here to learn. And I am learning. What's interesting is there are Dartmouth students who

If you've been following along the blog this summer, then you probably already know that today, G has surgery on his foot to (we pray) correct the ongoing injury so that it will finally heal. If you are a praying person, please keep him in yours. It has been a very long summer of "hurry up and wait" and he's anxious and growly, and he wants to get back to doing. To get back to work. To stop sitting and thinking about all of it.  I'll be online in my writing conference (isn't it always the way, things have to collide like this?), but since it's day surgery, I should have an update early on. Thank God for Meg, as she is running point on the medical side of things.  I hope I have good news to share tomorrow.  C

Ugh. All the "back to school" ads, displays, and so forth. It's too soon, too soon... but I guess it's not. I just feel like it's all crushing the rest of the summer. Which, for the record, is currently rainy. Again. I caved, sort of, to the pressure: I bought a couple of long sleeve tee shirts and a skirt I hope fits from JCPenney online. And I got my new grade book/plan book in the mail. Enough for now. I used to get excited about getting all new pens and pencils and so on, but right now, I don't even want to contemplate it. Things have been, as I'm sure you know, upended this summer in a lot of ways, and I want to do one fun thing (just one would be something) before I have to go back to being "teacherly."  Am I teacherly? I used to be. All stiff and proper and so on. Now, I just want to be comfortable and to talk about cool books and help kids write better, more interesting things. I guess I've mellowed. I like laughing in class, going

I am increasingly irritated and dismayed about the chatter on the 'net regarding the Olympics. Too many people are clinging to misinformation, to the extent that their pronouncements are tarnishing the experience not just for those of us subjected to their stupidity and willful ignorance, but for the athletes and their families as well.  The opening ceremony was wide-ranging and interesting; if someone does not understand the tableau(x), then look it up before making assumptions that are wrong and hurtful. Or, if that someone does not want to expend the time to get educated, then switch to another channel. Simple. There was nothing Satanic (the French Revolution actually happened and it was actually pretty brutal), no one was mocking Christianity, and for heaven's sake, don't confuse the re-enactment of a painting of a bacchanal with Da Vinci's painting of The Last Supper . And while we are at it, if someone is mor(t)ally offended by the supposition that others have &qu

I suppose I should start today's post with an update: G got to the cardiologist on time (roads were not an issue for where he needed to be), and he's been cleared for the surgery on Monday. So, it appears we are on track, at least on that front. Still nothing from the short-term disability people (no surprise), and the hospital bills keep showing up (also no surprise), but yeah, the situation is what it is. With Meg's help, we will manage the physical aspects, and we will just keep plugging at the rest. Meg, Tim, and Holly are at the beach on a much-needed overnight respite, and Holly is loving the ocean. I wish so much that I/we could be there, too, but we had a video chat this morning and there's been lots of pictures. It's been super quiet around here with the Tiny Tornado not in residence. Not that it is a bad thing; everyone needs a breather to re-set. It ain't over, all of the "it"-- and we'll need our mental, physical, and emotional strength