How do you define yourself? And should we? And a book recommendation...

This might be heretical to say, but I don't identify myself (willingly) as a teacher, first and foremost. I see far too many of my colleagues, especially the elementary ones, who are so engulfed in this persona that they forget to be human, first and foremost. Yes, I teach. And yes, most of the time I'm happy to do so, but it's not who I am. It is what I do for work, it is my career, it puts food on my table, and sometimes, even joy in my heart. But I am a multi-faceted human being, and I wear many hats every single day. I am not exclusively one thing or another; I, like, Walt Whitman, "contain multitudes." 

I am really hesitant to define myself by a role I occupy. Wife, mother/grandmother, family member, community member, parishioner, employee, writer, cleaner-of-the-house-and-cooker-of-the-meals...and the list gets longer until, finally, I can take the long view and state that I am a member of the human race. And that's important; we are one race. That's one role I am willing to define myself by.

While we are on that subject, the subject of "race," I would like to go (loudly, emphatically) on record by saying that I absolutely hate the whole defined "race" thing. We are different ethnicities, nationalities, and we all have different affinity groups to which we belong. But let's take that long view again: we are the globally mobile species that tends to both invent great things and screw things up royally, in equal measure. There is no one "race" that owns beauty or intelligence, or one that is predisposed to depravity and malevolent behavior. We all own a piece of all of that, and that's a good thing in a lot of ways. If anything, it's a little humbling and a good corrective at times.

So what the hell is this "white supremacy" garbage? "Othering" people based on skin color, ethnicity, religious affiliation or whether they prefer coffee or tea are all superficial, stupid, blind, and inherently narcissistic choices. (Not to mention that "white" is not globally dominant.) The only people who deserve disdain and revulsion are those who hurt others intentionally, for their own aggrandizement or to feed their sense of power. Hurting children, animals, the elderly, and other vulnerable groups is pure meanness, at the very least. And in a lot of ways, is an intentionally atavistic act. Muck-sucking, in other words.

I would like to suggest a quick read, one that really pushes the reader to examine socially-held prejudices that we all have a smidgen of hiding in our psyches. We can't help it; we are products of our environment, and we can, and should, examine these ideas for what they are, and correct those that are harmful to ourselves and others. We are socialized to put a preference on so many things: "it's not all black and white" (in that order), reading left to right, "Ladies and Gentlemen" (again, in that order), Yes or No (in that order), right-handed scissors... common phrases, choices, and habits are all deeply ingrained. Anyhow, the book: Toni Morrison's Recitatif. Morrison carefully crafted a novella that erases all evidence of "race" in the narrative, but yet readers will find themselves trying to fit one or the other main character into roles that are defined by social class and race. I tried this book out with my graduating seniors this past spring, and it was hugely eye-opening. They were taken aback by their own searching to define the characters by external qualities. This group of young women (I had five pretty progressive kids in class) usually prided themselves on being very open-minded and not prejudiced...and then, they had to confront these socialized expectations in themselves. It was a good exercise, and one I would highly recommend.

It's not intrinsically bad to have preferences and some types of prejudices. I like coffee, I prefer my husband, I dislike death metal music, and I adore Italian food. The way we sling around the word prejudice, though, has come to mean something evil or hurtful in some way. To prejudge means that I have made a choice, usually based on prior experience or associations. I will turn down a cup of tea because I have disliked others much like it. I will choose Italian food when the other options are very unfamiliar to me and I'm too hungry to be adventurous. That said, prejudging people on stereotypes or on misinformation is not harmless at all, and you, my readers, all know that. This is why, in many ways, I'm hollering into an echo chamber in this blog post. But what I'm concerned about is the kids I face in room 201, in the halls, in the parking lot, and then, in the voting booth later. If I can't speak my mind openly due to restrictions placed on teachers by the state department of education, I still want to present my students with chances to learn. This is why texts like Morrison's are so critically important. I'm not preaching, but I hope I'm reaching. 

It's a ragged edge we are walking, and I want us all to get to the other end of this safely.

C