Squirrel-brain start to the day-- oof.

I am hopeful of a relatively relaxed day today (but who knows?)-- I tried to sleep in, but my squirrel brain wouldn't let me. I woke up with an ocular migraine in only one eye (it's not the first time), so I have shiny kaleidoscope vision. It'll pass, but it's weird. 

We had sort-of plans to do something fun today, but that's gone out the window. Maybe we'll make something up later on, but probably my day will involve picking tomatoes and putting chlorine in the pool on the off chance it ever warms up enough to use it again this year. Other than that, I have few plans. I'd love to sit and read, maybe I will. 

Meg and I have penciled in plans for next Tuesday, which is the last day of "freedom" for me. I hope those plans hold. It's not a lot, but it's something out of the usual routine. Just brunch and a nail appointment, so maybe that won't offend the "plans? you?" gods. I have made dinner plans with a poet friend of mine for that day, too, so hopefully I haven't jinxed myself. 

O--another good thing: I ordered a denim skirt, it came in, and it fits. If you know me at all, you know that it's a big deal when something fits. I envision wearing it with my tee shirt collection (I have a large literature-writing tee shirt wardrobe). 

That all said, I don't want anyone to think I don't like my job; I love teaching literature and writing, and the kids are usually fun and funny, and most of my colleagues are decent folks. I certainly don't mind the idea of getting a paycheck. It's just that I have not rested this summer, and I hate going to work on an empty physical and emotional tank. I don't sleep through the night (I'm awake and up every two hours), so I get just enough rest to function, but not enough to feel on top of things. Alas, that's the way of it when one is a worrying sort. 

I should be reading the poetry collections I promised to review. I just can't focus enough right now, and that bothers me-- I'm not one to shirk a promise made. Lucky for me, the deadlines are my own, so if I have to move them, I can. I should be washing the kitchen cabinets, too. There's a lot of "shoulds" and not enough oomph these days. Some things are just going to have to keep sliding.

I should focus on the good stuff, even if it's a cessation of the rain that has plagued us for the last couple of weeks. G has a doctor's appointment tomorrow to assess the progress of his foot; I pray it's headed in the right direction, because that is weighing on my mind and is an ever-present "situation" around the house. There are other good things, too: a decent amount (okay, plethora) of tomatoes from my little garden boxes, the wood pellets for the winter have been delivered (we do have to clear out the shed and all that so we can get the pellets under better cover, but that's a worry I can't work on just yet), and there's always Holly-hugs. They don't fix much, but they sure help interrupt the cycle of anxious thoughts.

Have a good day, and keep us in your prayers, please.

C