Into the Wild Wood and Home Again

Another grey, overcast, somewhat chilly morning. Though it was ten degrees warmer this morning when I got up... progress? The pool stands, draped in heavy covering, a reproach, a distant invitation, a sad commentary on the distance between wish and reality. OK, I just leveled up the pool. I want to be floating and looking at clouds, but instead, I am not. Sigh. Summer does this to me sometimes.  At least we have no beach vacation plans to be ruined. Or any vacation plans, really. Each day has its own chore list, its own agenda that allows little time for dreaming in the pool, even if it were warm enough. Still, I have just over a month left before stodgy clothes and school requirements horn their way in. Maybe we'll get in the pool again soon. This cool trend is a bummer. (Though there are those cold weather folks who are cheering for the chill. Weirdos.) Today, after my leisurely cup of coffee and a hot shower, I will be wending my way downtown to meet with a former student who in...

We had another really great time at The Frost Place, this time with Abbie Kiefer as our guest poet. The open mic was super, too-- this year's poet in residence participated, as did a few other really good readers. It's awesome to end the weekend/start the week with good words in such a lovely location.  And now it's Monday, and it was 45 degrees when I got up. I'm pretty sure Holly is still going to want to go to swim lessons, even though it's likely to be only about 60 degrees. Crazy kids don't feel the cold. And she starts her one week of pre-K soccer camp today at 3:00 as well. Busy! But in the meantime, I hope to wash floors and maybe bake something-- the house is pretty chilly until the sun comes in the back windows in the afternoon. So, how about those Red Sox? 13 games in a row, and sweeping teams that everyone else seems to think they should have been pummeled by. I'll take it. It won't last (New England sports fans know these things in their sou...

I shuffled and sorted my poems yesterday, and there are 47 of them in a very rough approximation of a manuscript. I will be spending a lot of time with this project, and maybe refining some of the poems, moving them around, seeing what the hell they have to say to each other and to me. But it's started.  Today, we have church and breakfast. I have some house chores to attend to. And then there's our guest poet/community open mic at 3 at The Frost Place-- this week's poet is someone I do not actually know. I've only communicated with her via email. So, this will be really fun! If you're local, come on up and hear Abbie Kiefer! Bring a poem to share! And yes, I baked bread yesterday. It is so satisfying to bring the simplest of ingredients together into a cohesive whole, then knead the dough, and then let it rise. I think there's a connection there between my poetry ms project and the bread. Maybe I should write that? The forecast for today is better; it poured al...

Well, the weather has upended my plans a little today, but I really don't mind all that much. I was going to wash floors, but it's damp/chilly, and they would not dry quickly. I'll try again tomorrow. They aren't gross, just it's time, if you know what I mean. Instead, I'll bake some sourdough bread. That will be nice, and it'll warm up the house a bit. This cool/wet trend is helpful for the garden, but it's really inconvenient for the pool and for sitting on the deck with coffee.  That all said, I hope to begin shuffling poems today. I have so many copied off, and I think I might have an organizational principle figured out (book in three sections). I changed the working title, and maybe that'll help me figure out which poems go in/out and where. And I drafted a new one yesterday! It's been a bit since I've written anything much. Partly due to my time being really pulled elsewhere (four-year-olds hate it when you are on the computer, unless ...

 Holly and I went to the movies yesterday, as the day turned cool and rainy. It was the best choice for us; we went to St. J where the popcorn is good and they use real, Cabot butter. We had great seats, and the live-action version of Moana did not disappoint. There's a bit more music in this version, and the mythology/backstory for the main characters was fleshed out a bit, too. And Dwayne Johnson was fabulous, as one would expect.  Today, we have the last day of art camp, we have swim lessons, and we are going to mess around with clay after lunch. I have laundry to do (no surprises), but in general, my brain is turning toward my manuscript I promised myself I'd be working on. The working title has staled, and I'm thinking more about what do the poems do, both as a group, and individually. What I need to do is sit down and pull out the ones I truly think resonate. And I'm sure there's some to discard, some to maybe tweak a bit-- in short, I need some time alone.  S...

Got up with some goals in mind, and the broccoli/cheddar quiche is already out and cooling, the spiced blueberry pie is in the oven, and the bills are paid.  After breakfast I'll get some chores done, and we'll get to the bank.  If the pool water is not frigid, I hope to get in there today-- I know Holly would love it.  All of this, of course, is deflection. The news cycle is scary as hell. The "priorities" that are being touted do not align with the very things that would make life survivable for so many thousands (millions?) of people. It's a weird version of the Hunger Games, and we are all paying and paying tribute, only to see people sicken, die, get hunted, hurt, and struggle to live in a way that can make meaningful things possible.  On the NH state level, the incomprehensible choices being made that affect public education, local taxes, and the state of home-schooling children by removing all of the guardrails are all things that hit the news this morning....

We got thunder, lightning, and heavy rain for about an hour, then it moved on, mercifully. Other places had it far worse. We did not lose power, either. The local bear, however, decided that it was prime time to hit not only Meg's trash, but ours as well. What a mess. And we don't put much out-- but this nuisance bear is an almost nightly visitor. Meg has no shed to put her trash into, but she has a locking strap on the bin. That bear is not stupid, and has all the time in the world to puzzle out ways to get into things. ugh.  Today, it's already 70 and muggy. The sky is beige. The sky was yellow most all day yesterday, due to the wildfire smoke drifting our direction. I hope it clears, but we'll deal with whatever we get. G has the pleasure of hauling Holly to her various things this morning, as I have a follow-up eye appointment. Pray my eyes are better. This is really annoying/scary.  If I can, I will head to the grocery store today (member discount day!). I'm su...

As much as I am trying to limit my intake of the horrors in the news, they leak in around my best efforts.  The spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional trauma we are caught in is crippling us all in ways that will likely never fully heal.  We can laugh, shallowly and without real humor, at the absurdities. We can nod our heads alongside the small victories, knowing full well that they are likely temporary, and will be shredded by the ugly machinery that is the corruption overshadowing everything.  We cannot, however, look away when people are dying, needlessly, cruelly, and as the result of a toxic level of suspicion, hatred, and willful ignorance. Body counts are tied to funding, and the funding is wrenched away from senior citizens, children, the environment, wildlife, and the future that, for all intents and purposes, is forever marred and stained for us all.  The monuments to brutal excess are already being erected. May God have mercy on us all. Help your neig...

The first reading/open mic at The Frost Place for the Sundays in the Barn with Bob series was delightful! Our guest reader, poet David Graham, was super, and the community readings were great, too. I will admit, though, I'm tired. Full weekend, to be sure. At least we went to IFB for dinner last night.  I went to bed too late, too. I got watching  a really good Poirot mystery, and bam, there it was-- after 10:30 when I went up the stairs. I'll pay for it today; Holly has art class this morning, followed by swim lessons. And it's a chilly start to the day after a chilly night, so I don't think our pool water will be all that warm. So, we'll see what the after-lunch situation looks like. I hope she's willing to just hang out and watch a movie, but that remains to be seen.  This will be the routine M-W-F, except on Wed. I have a follow-up with the eye doctor, so G will do the morning hustle with Holly, at least for the art class part. Pray I am not looking at (lite...

We went to Manchester and had a decent time at the ballgame; Holly's first, and her first fireworks. She much preferred the bouncy castle in the play area and the fireworks, but in all, it was pretty good. The Fisher Cats were awful, both offensively and defensively. The Sea Dogs were dominant, which didn't surprise me a whole lot. It was fun to sit three rows from the field, munching on hotdogs and cracker jacks, and soaking in the whole live ball atmosphere. Even the screaming kid behind my head didn't really dampen the experience--though I'm pretty sure he has no voice today (much to the delight of his grandparents).  That said, this is a quick note, as I have "promises to keep" and will be heading off to the Frost Place in less than an hour. Time to get my poetry brain up and running-- remind me, though, to tell you about the "souvenir drink bat" that Meg got for me, filled with a lemon-lime/slightly buzzy slushy. O lord.  Ciao for now, C

A quiet Saturday morning. Well, relatively quiet; the dog is grumbling and objecting to everyone and anything that she sees as an intrusion, which includes people walking on the other side of the street, random pieces of wind-blown paper, and apparently the morning in general.  I've got an overnight bag almost packed; I'll be heading out of town overnight with the crew (except G, who must work, and who will be tending to the doggo). It's been a long time since I've been out of town overnight; so long, in fact, that I could not find my small suitcase. Or a duffel bag. Likely, both are long gone. So I had to order one quickly, and I found a pretty little quilted thing that will do just nicely. Yes, I could have stowed a change of clothes and the other bits and bobs I need in a regular tote, but seriously, a grown woman ought to have an overnight bag. The big suitcase would have been overkill, to say the least. The game plan (and I use that term literally) is to go to Delt...

I went to a really nice poetry reading by the poet Adam Giannelli last night in Franconia. He was so pleasant, self-effacing, honest, and earnest in his work and in the Q/A after. His poetry is very accessible, which makes it a really good choice for a small community venue as well.  The questions most people posed to him were of the usual sort, focusing on his beginnings as a writer. There was a pointed question about his philosophy of teaching poetry, which, while a good question, really seemed out of place, but he handled it well. Then came the question that made me cringe a bit. The person asking it had already asked a couple of other questions, but this one was odd: do poems come to him in dreams? He fielded the question with good humor, and strangely enough, part of one of the poems in his full collection, Tremulous Hinge , has lines that did, in fact, happen in a dream. But still, odd question.  Poems don't usually just "arrive," they are responses to inner thought...

Thursday, and it's going to be humid and quite warm. T-storms in the forecast for the evening. I think I'll get groceries today (I'm all out of sync but we are also all out of milk). I'm quite sure Holly will want pool time, and I might join her. And tonight, I am going to Franconia to hear this summer's resident poet at the Frost Place read at the lovely little jewel-box of a library, the Abbie Greenleaf. Unless, of course, the t-storms are already raging. Sigh. I hope not.  At any rate, there's a plan in place for today, and likely it'll change here and there, but I like having a plan. I've tried the whole floating through the day thing, and it makes me uneasy. I like flexible plans, but no plan is too untethered.  Most folks like summer break because it's untethered, but I am more happy with a "get some chores done in the morning then loaf about as you wish in the afternoon" vibe. It's not always easy to stick to, but it works for me...

It's Wednesday, and it's a cool start to the day, 51 degrees. I hope that it warms a little.  I am hoping for a quieter, less fraught day. My chattery brain can't seem to settle.  Holly had a rough day yesterday; sometimes the topsy-turvy schedule that the adults have is just a lot of overwhelm for a four year old, and yesterday was filled with tears and drama, shouting and so on. I hope today is a lot calmer for both of us.  That said, I slept til 6:10 (G is off on Wednesdays, so no crazy 4am alarm). I am not having any coffee today because it feels like I've mistreated my digestion lately, and that's something I need to avoid.  Holly has swim lessons, and that's about it. I have some chores to do. Nothing huge. Just getting through the day. I hope yours is a good one. Keep the faith. C

Chilly, damp, overcast... not the kind of morning I can take my coffee to the deck. Though I'd have done so, since it's not a morning that Holly is here early. I can wander room to room, keep quiet, and drink my coffee. Peaceful, eh? Poor kid was at loose ends a bit yesterday, but we managed okay. Mondays are like that. We have a routine here, and it works pretty well. At home for three days, she was following a different pattern, and getting her back into the swing of things takes a bit. She gets a little too sassy and demanding, and I suppose that's a response to wanting to build a pattern for her day on her own terms. It still rankles, though. Today, she's hanging with Meg for most of the day (amen--she needs mommy time badly). She'll be here for dinner time, though, so I'm making one of her favorites, Italian sausage, spaghetti sauce, and pasta. I promised her pool time today, but the weather does not look like it'll cooperate, but there's always tom...

AP Scores are in, and I had a few kids pass. Most got at least 2s, which means they are college-ready, but it does not get them the college credit. Thankfully, they do dual credit, so that they will be able to transfer credits regardless. But how humbling, how grueling, an experience. For all of us.  What do we need to work on? Multiple stupid choice. And, for the lit kids, really honing in on providing credible evidence to build their analyses. All of which I know, all of which I kept harping on. We'll see how this year's crew does.  That said, that's it for school stuff. I'm just grateful a few passed with 3s. Now that we've been through this, I can figure out how to make it work. I know we did so much practice-- but I also know that they didn't really care, some of them.  Sigh. OK, it's summer, and this school stuff can go sit on a shelf.  I finished reading Klara and the Sun yesterday; it took me two days. It's not hard reading, the story is awesome...

I did not watch any of the festivities. I did, however, doom-scroll far too much for my own good.  I gasped and cringed at the sight of masked, hate-spewing marchers in the Capitol, proceeding unimpeded. After church, I am going outside today to pull weeds, to reconnect, maybe to figure out how to stop the anxious chatter in my head.  Today, let's turn to Whitman, as I often do. I hope your day is one of hope and peace. C O Me! O Life! Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring, Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish, Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?) Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d, Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me, Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined, The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?   ...

I was ten years old in 1976. The country was alight with Bicentennial Fervor; the quarters were minted with the dates, the dividing line on streets were painted with patriotic colors, school kids were given little plastic bags with a hole to hang them in the car that proclaimed "Keep America Beautiful!"-- it seemed we all had something to celebrate. And we wanted to. The country had just gone through the murky mess that Watergate brought, a president had resigned in disgrace, the Vietnam War had come to a brutal and difficult ending, and the country needed to heal. It had not even been a decade since the violence of 1968 with the riots and assassinations. We needed desperately to move forward, and we did, in so many ways. I sat on a grassy expanse of lawn behind one of the storied mansions in Newport and watched the Tall Ships come into harbor. It was breathtaking, exciting, and historic.  In the ensuing 50 years, a lot has happened; much good has been accomplished and much t...

Friday, and a free day (at least, that's the plan). Tim is off work for the national birthday, so he's in charge of Holly today, including swim lessons. Perfect. It's been a little fraught this week for Holly: mommy is working a ton (they really do need to hire some folks asap), and Simon the Cat is still MIA. Add to that the summer heat, and she's been a bit testy. So, a breather for us all is in order. I have some errands to do, and some baking to do (maybe), and a few house chores to do. I have some writing I want to get to, as well.  Mostly, I will enjoy the silence. Or at least some stretches of it. And I hope to read on the deck.  I hope you also have a quiet day, if that's what your head and heart desire.  Hugs, C

We had a double thunder storm last night that, thankfully, did not involve a lot of wind, but did showcase a long stretch of lightning. I'm glad I was still up watching a movie, because it would have woken me up, it was so bright and sustained. Maybe today won't be so muggy, but if it is, so be it. It's summer.  The pool is finally warm enough for me to be pleased with it. We will likely get in there again today, but then I'm going to add some water to it and put in a new filter/chlorine tab. We've enjoyed it this week, for sure, and the forecast is still for 80s.  I think, though, I'd like today to be a relatively quiet day. I'm tired; Holly is a busy kid, and she's been a bit emotionally fraught due to one cat still being MIA. And Meg is working way more hours/days/weeks than is sustainable, at least for Holly. It's no one's fault, really-- they are super short staffed. But still, it's a lot, especially to a four year old who can't quit...

It's humid and overcast, but we did not get hit with thunderstorms last night. I am glad I watered the garden boxes. I may do it again today. Holly is enjoying the pool time, and I am pleased that she is doing so well with her swimming. Most of all, I can sit on the deck and supervise, if I've a mind to. That's worth a lot.  Today, it's expected to be 90 and that means slowing down. Holly has swim lessons, but other than that, I haven't got a lot on the agenda. I may fold laundry.  So, if you watched/heard about the Red Sox game last night, you'll have an opinion about Contreras' ejection for the second night in a row. On Monday, he was tossed for "insulting" an ump (which was purely subjective and stupid on the ump's part). Last night, there was a benches-and-bullpen-clearing confrontation after the Nationals' pitcher struck Contreras out and said, " sit down, boy ." And while Contreras did stride out purposefully toward the moun...