Into the Wild Wood and Home Again

It's 35 degrees and wet. I am trying not to lose patience, but the garden boxes will not be planted today-- too wet. I'll weed the strawberries though. I'm sure I'll find other forms of huswifery to engage in (fold laundry, likely).  That said, I am off rom-coms for a bit; a friend recommended Shakespeare and Hathaway on Britbox, and it's funny. It's another light-weight detective series with dear and recognizable characters, some witty banter, and so on. I'm good with that. And the Sox won yesterday! And I slept last night! Some dumb dreams, but nothing fraught.  So it's Sunday, and we'll head off to church and then find breakfast somewhere. Maybe the diner. G is going to add some new enrichment (soil, composted manure) to the boxes and (I hope) build the new one today. And do some string-trimming. Thus, I will be able to plant the seeds as soon as it's not mucky in the boxes. We sure did get a lot of rain. And it's cold. I'm grateful fo...

The overwhelm continues, as aided and abetted by Mother Nature and a really lousy night's sleep. I'll be doing garden stuff tomorrow. Today, it's 45 and rainy. No thanks. It is not safe for me to be shlepping about in wet grass in the cold while no one is home. To be honest, I'm okay with it. I slept very poorly, and I am entirely sick of these busy, stupid dreams where I'm in charge of situations that are absurd, but in the context of the dream, are dire as well.  Enough already.  It was an exhausting week (who am I kidding, month-school year-decade), and I dearly wanted sleep. So today, I'll putter about the house, get groceries, and grade papers, all while laundry churns despondently.  I don't know why the laundry would be despondent. I'm probably projecting.  I'm usually super excited about the last two weeks of school, but this year, I just feel like it's been enough, I want it done, and heaven help the next person who poses yet another pape...

I am truly feeling the end of the school year tired. There's so much to do, too many loose ends to tie up, and of course, there's the added "I need to get my garden planted but it's supposed to be stupid cold and rainy" thing, and the "O my goodness, Holly has no school after 12:30 next Friday who is gonna watch her" thing, and the "dangitall, my book is delayed a little but should be here sometime mid-June and I want to schedule a launch party" thing.  I need a little breather.  So, I watched another rom-com last night, and it was actually super good, had some interesting twists in it, and yeah, if you are feeling super overwhelmed like I am, I'd recommend Love at First Sight currently on Netflix. I know, the title is... yeah... but the movie is based on a book, too. It was fun to watch, had some serious moments, and it was altogether satisfying.  The Red Sox blew chunks. Sigh again.  Today is Friday, we'll finish both Othello and St...

I did not watch a rom-com last night. Instead, I invested in watching the Red Sox--and they won, handily, convincingly, reassuringly! This is after I watched Jeopardy, got 28 right, and got the final question right as well.  I was feeling pretty good, truth be told.  My Creative Writing kids are doing a great job reading Othello aloud; they all predictably despise Iago, but they have no inkling what's coming (we are only in Act III). Fun stuff. And the APLit kids are watching Streetcar Named Desire -- and they all sense that things are going to get really awful (we only got through the first 36 minutes so far). How depressing, really, to bring the school year to a close with those two plays. But still, it's good stuff.  I spent some time yesterday revising syllabi, and I think I'll put Richard III in APLit next year instead of Othello . And Fences (film version) instead of Streetcar . I need a change. I'm even going to cave and teach Frankenstein in Brit Lit. Suffice...

I've found myself gravitating to really formulaic rom-coms on Netflix lately. It's not my usual fare, but I'm finding that watching those is somehow comforting. I particularly like the ones where Italy and cooking are involved, it seems. I'm almost puzzled by this recent desire for escapism, but I spent a lot of the winter watching mysteries, so I guess this is what my brain wants right now. Probably it's some sort of insulation against the atrocities in the news.  We all need a break. If this is my (temporary) mental hiding place, so be it. It could be a whole lot worse. The weather around here is warm and sunny for a few days, so I'm soaking that vibe in as well. G planted the two honeyberry bushes yesterday afternoon, and if they take off, that'll be nice. Something new to add to the fruits of our labor, quite literally. And both of the holly bushes survived the winter! I hope that they'll grow a lot this summer so we don't have to worry about the...

Spring is damp. That's the general gist of things. This weekend was not conducive to doing much outdoors, so I dug into some piddly little house chores (and some usual ones like laundry). I made a batch of sourdough bread, too-- first one in about a year. My old starter went bad, so I finally got a new one going. I'm looking forward to toast this morning.  Back to work-- we've still got plenty to do. I'm not in the packing up mode just yet. Two weeks to go for seniors, and a few more days after that for the underclasses, which means, after June 7, I'll have two students, total. It tends to wind down like that. Next year, we are shifting our schedule (we are our own SAU starting July 1), and graduation will be the last day. No more dribbles and sputters. I'm looking forward to that.  I have to plan my writing weekend for young folks, too. I think I have maybe five kids signed up? I'll have to put that project on the front burner soon. I hope it runs; it'l...

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,/ ... And wild plum trees in tremulous white/ ... And not one will know of the war, not one Will care at last when it is done From Sara Teasdale, " There Will Come Soft Rains " Memorial Day, and pouring rain. At least it's not that cold, but the pellet stove is still humming along--it's damp and uncomfortable. For years, when I was in high school, our band marched in parades, but more often, we just marched to cemeteries to honor the dead on Memorial Day. We had a very small band to begin with, and then people would not show up-- but I did. One year, I was up puking all night with food poisoning, but I went. That was the year that, when we figured out how few of us were there for the "parade," I marched beside a tuba and the drums. I played clarinet. No matter, though: we always had one talented trumpet player there to play taps from behind shrubbery. It was pretty moving, regardless. I have military mem...

"When the day of Pentecost arrived, they were all together in one place. And suddenly there came from heaven a sound like a mighty rushing wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. And divided tongues as of fire appeared to them and rested on each one of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit gave them utterance."  ~ Acts 2: 1-4 I wonder how this plays out in our current times. I'd like to think that it is an occasion to speak the truth, the kind of Truth that can burn away all the misinformation, hatred, vengeful words, and hurtful rhetoric that we are surrounded by. The news is full of ugly things being done, the shifting and erasure of what we know to be true, all in the name of creating an even uglier space that is unsafe and unwholesome for everyone. This cannot stand. This practice cannot be sustained.  And it'll be up to us to speak out about what is right and just.  Come, Holy S...

After a really exhausting week (and a super long day yesterday), I slept hard last night, with too many busy dreams. And today, I'm off to Lisbon for a fundraiser for the Sophomore Class. I hope we sell out early, to be honest. I'm supposed to be there from 9-2, but it's cold (though it will warm up), and I'm still tired.  That all said, at least it's sunny. And there will be a middle school softball double header in progress. It could be worse. I do need to find my bug spray-- black flies have entered the chat.  At least it is a "long weekend" and part of what I accomplished yesterday was the pile of grading I needed to get done. So, a weekend without school work --well, after today's thing. We'll be at the Community Field with yard sale and baked goods. If you're local, come on down. It's Lilac Weekend in Lisbon, and there are events, live music, food trucks, and kiddie rides all weekend. Today there is a parade at 11, as well. Most of th...

TWENTY NINE DEGREES.  Ugh. Mother Nature is still in charge. I hope my plants are not all crisped up and frozen. We got the two new honeyberry bushes in yesterday, but G put them in the shed, just in case. Likely, the petunias are a little irritated, but the herbs should be okay. I have not planted basil outdoors yet. This, after several days of 80s and 50s at night. So be it. Today is Senior Defense day-- the seniors all have to do what is basically a form of exit interview. They present their portfolios and discuss the guiding questions, all of which should reflect what they've learned in high school. Not class or course by course, but the overarching things, such as, what is your internal model of good work?  There are nine guiding questions, but they all lead to that sort of thing. And they have to have a slide show (ergg), but their oral presentation is what matters most. I hope they are good; we advisors sit on panels, and we watch/listen, then, after the student is done...

There's a lot going on in my head, mostly I don't share the anxiety, the hurt, the sense of overwhelming cultural devastation, because who can manage that firehose of dread and pain?  So, two things. The Library of America is having a one-hour discussion about Whitman and his political writings (and I ordered the book) online on June 2. The link is here , and it's free to attend. The other thing that I have to offer is a poem by Wordsworth, one that lives in my head: The World Is Too Much With Us The world is too much with us; late and soon, Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;— Little we see in Nature that is ours; We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon! This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon; The winds that will be howling at all hours, And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers; For this, for everything, we are out of tune; It moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn; So might I, standing on this pleasant lea, Have g...

Well, we didn't plant anything after Holly got out of school. She had a project to do with Meg; they made tie-dye shirts. O lordy. I'm glad it was not in my kitchen! I sent over a white tee shirt of mine with a quote from The Secret Garden on it and I told them to surprise me. It'll be fun! (And it doesn't count as another tee shirt, since I used an existing one.)  Speaking of tee shirts, I have an almost embarrassing amount of nerdy tee shirts. Not so many long sleeve, but plenty of short sleeve. Everything from a fairly innocuous "POET" shirt, to quotes from Emerson, Pessoa, and others. And some snarky ones. And some that require you to know something from literature. Take, for instance, the one I wore to work Tuesday: "HWAET!" (We had a dress-up day thing, where I was twinned --well, tripletted- with two others and we wore black tee shirts and jeans.) It's the first word, in Anglo-Saxon, that starts the Beowulf epic. I have a great purple one...

Another warm start to the day-- I sure could get used to it. Holly and I planted a few more things yesterday; we'll see what happens with the lettuce and spinach. I chose to put them in a porch planter. That way, I can keep them out of the sun if it gets too hot. And we broadcast some red poppies-- we'll see what comes of that, too.  Students are liking both Our Town and Summer of Soul, which is good. I have to grade a pile of essays I left alone this weekend, but mostly, things are rolling along well enough.  And I finally got my second galley proofs for the new book! They tell me that the printer is running about two weeks behind, which is going to likely make me shift my book release party. Sigh. Now I have to figure that part out. But I'll ask them for a better idea of when the book will arrive. I was hoping for June 14th (Flag Day, not UFC debacle day). It may have to shift to Fathers' Day. I dunno. I'm balancing a lot of scheduling, and it seems like either a...

We spent most of yesterday outdoors-- G doing most of my self-appointed tasks, as well as a few he wanted to get done. After church (and pancake breakfast!), we went to buy another phlox and a rose bush. Well, I got a couple of petunias, but restrained myself-- it's too early for vegetable sets. The lovely weather is misleading. We will not plant garden crops until the first of June (there's a second full moon in May this year--colder nights are a likelihood). G did the pruning for me (my ankle is in full revolt lately), and went on to prune back forsythias, dig holes, plant phlox, move solar lights...I'm sure there's something else, too, but it was a lovely outdoor day, getting things done. I got to hang out with Meg and Holly for a bit, too, and I made a nice Sunday dinner for us all. Fresh blueberry-rhubarb pie! Roast chicken and veggies! And all the windows were open.  Achoo. Pollen everywhere, too. The apple trees are blooming. The pears are still blooming like cra...

Ooo I got drafted to read this morning-- so, short note. I need to read over the passages.  I hope your Sunday is glorious.  It's sunny and warm. We'll be outside for a good part of today, I think! Ciao for now, blessings for everyone. C

I should not ever start my day by reading the news feed. I'm carrying around a whole lot of angst, and that does not help in any way. What does today look like? I know there's errands and folding laundry involved. I want to do some outdoor stuff, but I don't feel confident getting into the roses when there's no one around-- if I topple, I will not be able to right myself easily. And no, taking a cell phone out into the rose bushes is not a good plan, either-- if it should drop, I won't be able to navigate safely to pick it up. So, that pressing project is likely moved to tomorrow. No matter. It'll get done.  Confronting limitations is never an easy thing to do, and I'm really having a hard time with the new level of "be safe" and "pace yourself" that physical limitations are putting on me. I used to do so much, so quickly, and solo. It's damned depressing. And there's not a lot of help to be had; people are busy with their own to-...

Another warm/damp start to the day-- I'll take it. Yes, it'll be nice to see some warm and sunny, but warm is good.  Speaking of warm, I am wearing denim capri pants today. Not that newsworthy, I'm sure, but still-- it's not wool socks, fleece-lined leggings and a sweater.  And speaking of clothing, I never really noticed just how prominent clothing as ritual gifts is in The Odyssey. Yes, there's gold, usually bowls and tripods, lots of animals, sometimes women, but the tunics and cloaks are just as prominent. Sometimes one-fold, sometimes two-fold tunics. They are stored away just as carefully as the hardware. I got thinking, then, that it's women who created these articles of clothing. The hours needed are amazing. The threads, created from raw materials like wool and flax, all had to be processed by women. So of course, the clothing is precious. Beggars go about wrapped in untanned ox hide. Sometimes, the gift-women given are not for sexual reasons, but beca...

Raining, but warmer...it's already over 50 degrees, which beats yesterday's high. The new herb plants and flower seeds will likely be happier. I have my garden boxes figured out, I think. But G ordered this cool little sampler of seeds that can be used for saving seeds after the plants grow. So now I have a plethora of interesting things to try out. Some, I will not. I am not growing okra. But there's three types of lettuce-- I was not going to grow lettuce, but now I think I might do that in the square planter on the deck. That way I can move it to shade so the plants don't cook in the sun. I'll grow beans and peas, squashes, tomatoes, and a shared box of carrots, beets, and parsnips. I might pop in a cuke plant, but we'll see. I have terrible luck with them. But who knows?  At any rate, none of this is happening until later in the month, so we can avoid that Blue Moon possible frost. Ah, New England. Short growing season, and we want our veggies before Septemb...

Got up, and it's 31 degrees-- it'll warm quickly, I think. But rain is in the forecast, but I'm not mad about it. We planted the herbs yesterday, Holly and I. Now, we can hope that they get watered naturally-- it's still too cold at night to turn on the outside water.  I'll be at work all day today, because there's a staff meeting I must attend. So, I assume I'll get something or other done. Not sure what-- with the AP testing gutting classes, I haven't had much to teach, let alone collect to grade. I don't mind, really. I have some other things I should be looking at. I have ideas for improvement, too, for both of my "heavy hitter" classes. This year has been a real learning experience for me, and I'm glad I have had to figure it out as I go. That way, I can honestly say I've dug into the whole AP thing. I'm still not that convinced it's what we need, but we have it, and I'll do my best to make it as valuable as possibl...

Another frost. I don't think the pears, and maybe the apples and the plums, will survive this. The trees will have a year of growth with no fruit, I fear. Not great timing; the cost of groceries what it is, I was hoping that I could really zero in on filling the freezer with applesauce and pear sauce. It's in God's hands. Mother Nature is clearly giving us the cold shoulder.  I'll still put out the herbs today; they've "hardened" enough already. Holly and I put in morning glory and flower seeds yesterday, so we'll see what comes of that. I'm feeling a little downhearted about the whole frost every night thing. At least the daytime temps are nice, but that doesn't make up for the cold nights.  Another day of upended class today; this time, I might have three or four kids in APLit. This is bonkers, but at least I knew about it ahead of time. I'm already thinking about how I'll revise my timing for next year's round; I think I'll d...

Another cold morning (30 degrees). I am truly worried for the fate of the fruit trees--well, they'll still be okay, but we may not get any fruit. That would be disappointing. Yesterday, G and I bought my new herb sets, too-- they are under a table on the deck, so I hope they are okay. They're pretty hardy ones, too-- sage and thyme, one little oregano. I kept the pot of basil in the house-- it's already gorgeous, and frankly, basil is too fragile to put outdoors until it is truly time to do so. And this year, we have the Blue Moon to worry about-- still a chance of frost until May 31st. Yeehaa. I don't usually put veggies in the ground until after then anyhow, but still. I'm itching to get things done.  And I did none of it yesterday, except the purchasing. It rained again. I'm too old and unstable on my feet to fool with pruning the huge rose bush in the rain. If I slipped, I'd be done for. So, next weekend. Today, though, Holly and I are going to go get th...

I dozed through the evening, half-listening to a silly show on Netflix. I will likely not return to it, but who knows? If I weren't always so darn tired, I'd read in the evening, but I can't focus and stay awake these days. I filled my Saturday with must-do stuff, and a few glad-I-did things. That is to say, I finished chores and whatnot right about when G pulled in from work--just after 4pm. I'm glad I went to tee ball with Holly and Tim; it's a true joy to sit in the spring sunshine and watch her learn and have fun doing something Meg did for years. I miss it so much, and it's honestly amazing to think I get to do it again. That makes my heart so happy. I don't know if I'll be able to for all the years she may play, but I'll soak up every minute I can get.  I was upstairs folding laundry when the dog went bananas. I dismissed it, after a fashion, because a/ no one was due to be at my door, and b/ she stopped losing her mind. When I got downstairs a...

Apparently, my mind is craving period drama as a retreat from the horrific firehose of terrible news items that are threatening to engulf us all. I can't directly impact any single thing that is making my heart hurt, but I can, in fact, temporarily immerse myself in Regency period films that dip into melodrama.  Last night, after Jeopardy (yes, I must be getting old-- I'm making it a habit to watch daily), I clicked into Britbox after making sure the Red Sox were not imploding in the first inning. They were not, so I was safe to venture into drama/melodrama/comfortably slushy film. I chose Mr Malcolm's List , which was delightful. Not one serious thing about it, really-- it was purely enjoyable, the costumes and settings were lovely, and I went to bed precisely at 10pm, having lost myself for a short time in an era that was ruled by high manners and minor scandals.  See why I like it? The horror show that is the news cycle today offers little to no reprieve; disasters, dang...

 Sunny? Yes, cold-- slight frost again last night (reminder that it's still early spring, eh?)--  And it's Friday. And payday.  Last night, I watched the first few episodes of The Other Bennet Sister on Britbox. It's quite good. I highly recommend it-- it connects with the things we all know from Pride and Prejudice, but the focus is on Mary, the sister no one ever seems to remember. The mother is vain and sometimes cruel, the younger sisters are still brainless, Lizzie is hardly even involved, nor is Jane... but they are there, and they are as we have come to expect them. Mr. Collins is as odious and cringey as usual, too. But Mary gets to speak! She has hopes and dreams, and a terrible sense of unworthiness rooted in her mother's suffocating behavior. Mary is becoming more independent, though, so this newfound courage and sense of self is refreshing-- even as it is thwarted, time and again, by social rules and her domineering mother.  And I'm only in a few episod...

Sigh of relief.  My students felt that the AP Lit exam was okay. We will debrief today, but then leave it in the rear view mirror.  I finished binge-watching a really complicated but well done thriller/mystery series on Netflix called Bodkin . The premise is that a man and his assistant, accompanied by a journalist who is in a spot of trouble, head to a small town in Ireland to track down an old, unsolved disappearances story for a podcast he is producing. Every step leads to deeper, darker secrets, and things get really sketchy fast.  I enjoyed it immensely! It's not my usual fare, but I'm glad I gave it a look.  And that all said, I'm hopeful that today won't be rainy. What a deluge we had again yesterday. I hope we are not getting the entire season's worth of rain in May. The drought last year was awful, and many areas are not even caught up yet. I do hope to get into my garden boxes to weed and so on this weekend, but the weather looks iffy. I'd like to prun...

Today's the day. Do or die.  Well, it's not that earth-shattering, but my students will be the first ones ever in Lisbon's history to take the AP Lit exam.  Then we'll have to wait until July for results.  Agh.  In the meantime, though, I'll have gutted classes (kids taking AP exams for other courses) here and there over the next week. We will do what we can, but mostly, it'll be marking time. Which, to be honest, I don't care one iota. We are continuing on with The Odyssey in Creative Writing, then moving immediately into drama. And in AP Lit, we'll be finishing up poetry, then moving into drama there, too. All plays, some on video, some read aloud in class.  And NO ONE IS GONNA GIVE A DAMN. Except me, of course. So, maybe we can lighten up and have a little fun.  Next Wednesday, my AP Lang kids will have to confront the hydra that is the AP exam-- I am hoping that they practice in the meantime. It's not an easy test. None of them are, but I've ...

I don't know if it's my usual imposter syndrome rearing its ugly head and butting into my teaching life (usually it's restricted to my writing), but I will be so darn glad when the AP tests are all done. For better or worse, it will have ended. I know I'm a good teacher, but these tests are looming over everything I say and do, forcing me to make decisions I'm not as sure about... ugh. And this is why I didn't want to ever do AP. I don't fully believe in it. There are good things that have come out of it, such as a laser focus on the why of things when it comes to analysis, but geez. And the kids don't seem to give one minute of care to it.  They don't care. And that makes me both sad and angry. Maybe a few do, but even so, their attitude is one of "o well, we'll give it a shot, probably gonna suck"-- and yes, that is likely the result for a lot of them. And honestly, one test (or even all of them) will not determine their lives in any...