Into the Wild Wood and Home Again

Sigh of relief.  My students felt that the AP Lit exam was okay. We will debrief today, but then leave it in the rear view mirror.  I finished binge-watching a really complicated but well done thriller/mystery series on Netflix called Bodkin . The premise is that a man and his assistant, accompanied by a journalist who is in a spot of trouble, head to a small town in Ireland to track down an old, unsolved disappearances story for a podcast he is producing. Every step leads to deeper, darker secrets, and things get really sketchy fast.  I enjoyed it immensely! It's not my usual fare, but I'm glad I gave it a look.  And that all said, I'm hopeful that today won't be rainy. What a deluge we had again yesterday. I hope we are not getting the entire season's worth of rain in May. The drought last year was awful, and many areas are not even caught up yet. I do hope to get into my garden boxes to weed and so on this weekend, but the weather looks iffy. I'd like to prun...

Today's the day. Do or die.  Well, it's not that earth-shattering, but my students will be the first ones ever in Lisbon's history to take the AP Lit exam.  Then we'll have to wait until July for results.  Agh.  In the meantime, though, I'll have gutted classes (kids taking AP exams for other courses) here and there over the next week. We will do what we can, but mostly, it'll be marking time. Which, to be honest, I don't care one iota. We are continuing on with The Odyssey in Creative Writing, then moving immediately into drama. And in AP Lit, we'll be finishing up poetry, then moving into drama there, too. All plays, some on video, some read aloud in class.  And NO ONE IS GONNA GIVE A DAMN. Except me, of course. So, maybe we can lighten up and have a little fun.  Next Wednesday, my AP Lang kids will have to confront the hydra that is the AP exam-- I am hoping that they practice in the meantime. It's not an easy test. None of them are, but I've ...

I don't know if it's my usual imposter syndrome rearing its ugly head and butting into my teaching life (usually it's restricted to my writing), but I will be so darn glad when the AP tests are all done. For better or worse, it will have ended. I know I'm a good teacher, but these tests are looming over everything I say and do, forcing me to make decisions I'm not as sure about... ugh. And this is why I didn't want to ever do AP. I don't fully believe in it. There are good things that have come out of it, such as a laser focus on the why of things when it comes to analysis, but geez. And the kids don't seem to give one minute of care to it.  They don't care. And that makes me both sad and angry. Maybe a few do, but even so, their attitude is one of "o well, we'll give it a shot, probably gonna suck"-- and yes, that is likely the result for a lot of them. And honestly, one test (or even all of them) will not determine their lives in any...

Monday, 32 degrees. Back to work...  Today, we'll see if any of the kids want to review for next week's AP Lang exam. I will try to help them, but seriously-- I feel like I'm working a helluva lot more than they are.  But that's beside the point. I have my own "to-do" list:  write a book review start gathering poems to work on a full collection manuscript think about what "next steps" I want for myself as a person and as a writer I think part of why I'm feeling so out of balance is because I've invested a ton of time into the teaching gig this year, and add to it I've had a lot of "Holly time" (which is good, but it's time spent), and I have not carved out any meaningful time for me to write, read, or just be . It's critical to my mental well-being to have some quiet time, and to be honest, I'm kind of looking forward to the hour between when I get home and when I have to pick up Holly today. Having G home for the we...

Rainy Sunday.  Maybe it'll clear a bit later-- sure hope so, because this is dreary. We had a glorious week weather-wise until the weekend, of course.  Celtics lost (I don't follow basketball, but still), Bruins lost (sigh), Red Sox are on life support. The weather matches the collective mood, I guess. Still, the daffodils are drinking it all in, the grass is glowingly emerald, and the birds are flitting around in the lilac hedge, playing hide and seek with the new leaves.  There, I switched the tone of the post. lol  Because it's Sunday, and vacation week is over, I am thinking about what's up next for my classes. Tomorrow, the AP Lit kids will be watching a version of Hamlet . They will be a/ disengaged and on their laptops, no matter if I tell 'em to shut them, b/ sort of watching, but talking about sports, prom, or lunch. A select few will watch. They will all have a written response to do, and some will do well, and others will be clueless. Nothing much is goin...

May Eight years since my mother died. Four since my dad died. We buried them both in the month of May. Four since I've seen my sister in person (her choice). Eight since I've seen my aunt and uncle.  My family buries itself over and over again.

I read Ada Limon's farewell address as Poet Laureate of the United States yesterday; I took notes (no surprise there), and I'll be working on a short review/reflection about it soon. Suffice it to say, it is lovely, cogent, and addresses the things that hurt right now.  I binge-watched four of the six episodes of a Netflix series called The Chair last night, at the suggestion of a dear friend. The premise is good: the main character, played by Sandra Oh, is a relatively young chairperson of an English department in a small college. She is tasked with essentially herding the old faculty, while trying to keep the younger ones on a tether, while trying to raise enrollment and engagement in the humanities--the existence of her department depends on this balancing act. Her efforts are complicated by her own family issues with an elderly father and an adopted daughter who keeps running off and/or getting into her own trouble. In short, chaos on the daily. I'm particularly drawn ...

I guess watching/playing with/ herding a four year old is exhausting. Well, no guessing about it. I fell asleep watching a really insipid movie last night, so no big deal, but gee whiz! We also did a stroke of work yesterday-- G's closet is half-empty now, and that's a good thing. And the dog's vet appointment went well; she has an allergy to something, so we're in the process of ameliorating her discomfort (stop the infernal gnawing and itching) and figuring out what she's allergic to. It might be environmental, it might be food, but either way, we have things to try. Poor thing has been uncomfortable for a while. And she has an appointment at the groomer's for next week--summer hair cut! She is a very long-haired pom-doxie, and she's rocking dreads. We brush her, but there is so much hair...I swiffer often, and there's so much hair...  Anyhow, today is a little cooler in temps, it's been raining, and the world is damp and green. We'll see what ...

Okay, full disclosure, I like binge-watching shows. This week, I watched all of the second season of Running Point (delightful, not at all challenging to watch) and all of the short series Big Mistakes on Netflix. The second one, Big Mistakes , was a mind-bending dark comedy, and truly was something I couldn't not finish quickly. The eight 30-minute episode rocketed by-- the situation is insane, the casting is perfect, and the dark humor is awesome. It stars Dan Levy as a somewhat closeted gay pastor of a pretty conservative church, his school-teacher sister who is a failed actress and who is a "lost soul" type, his controlling mother (played wonderfully by Laurie Metcalf), and several other fine actors. It was surprising to see Elizabeth Perkins in a slightly jarring role; her character is manipulative, privileged, and often harsh. (I recall her best as the mom in the 90's version of Miracle on 34th Street .) This is not a show that children need to be around --lang...

Another beautiful, sunshiney start to the day? I'll take it.  I'm delaying the pruning of roses for a week. I've toured the garden boxes to see what I need to do (weeding), and I ordered a new box, too, which should be here within a few days. I've mapped out what I want to plant. Enough of that. I'm going to just enjoy the day, and do a few little chores.  One of the chores we need to do --yes, we-- is clean out G's side of the big closet. He has a lifetime of clothes crammed in there, and most of them have not seen the light of day since we moved in eleven years ago. Some will go to thrift, some will go to the "white box" collection, and some will likely have to go to the transfer station due to threadbare/holes/etc. O yes...he'll get to keep some. lol I rotate the clothes in my side of the big closet every season, so things are generally sorted out and taken care of routinely. I admit I've got far too many tee shirts (I like them for memorabi...

Well, yesterday was a beautiful weather day. And I had windows open all day. But I did not get outside to do the yard stuff I was planning on... no matter, I think I'm pretty clear on what has to be done, and Wednesday will be time enough. If then. I don't like to prune roses until I see where the growth is happening and what has died back-- there's not enough new green showing yet, anyhow. And the garden boxes will be a project for another day-- it's well too early to plant tender sets. Those will wait til probably the end of May. I saw the forecast for the weekend-- 40s and rain. Gross.  That said, I splurged and ordered a new Virgin Mary garden statue. Our concrete one that we've had forever is all pitted and getting a bit crumbly. She'll likely grace another part of the yard-- maybe the strawberry patch. And I do have a resin one, but she tips over a lot. I usually put that one and the St. Francis one in a more protected space, likely just on the deck. But w...

Ahh, vacation. I slept in until 6:36. Wow. That's unheard of. So, I am really slow getting going this morning, and honestly, I DO NOT CARE!  I have coffee. I just ate breakfast. I have a short list of things to do today, but no rush. Eventually, I'll get in the shower and get on with things. I have to take the amended ms of my book to the post, run an errand, but nothing huge. And I will try to get outside to do at least an assessment of what I should be paying attention to (pruning, etc.).  But not yet. Holly is with us, and she's working on a puzzle. I'm sure she'll keep me on my toes today.  But first, coffee.  I don't have any wisdom to share today, except this: enjoy the flexible time in your day. Soak up the sunshine. All the stuff will get done, or not, but wasting the slow, glorious time would be a pity. Take care, hold your loved ones tightly. C

Instead of a nattering blog post today, I thought it better to just share one of the poems I read yesterday at the open mic. Have a lovely day! Carlene Spring Pools Robert Frost These pools that, though in forests, still reflect The total sky almost without defect, And like the flowers beside them, chill and shiver, Will like the flowers beside them soon be gone, And yet not out by any brook or river, But up by roots to bring dark foliage on. The trees that have it in their pent-up buds To darken nature and be summer woods -- Let them think twice before they use their powers To blot out and drink up and sweep away These flowery waters and these watery flowers From snow that melted only yesterday.

Today's the day! From 1-3 at NCCR, there will be a community open mic in the radio station performance space, livestreaming for all the world to hear! We will be celebrating community, good words, and the 30th anniversary of National Poetry Month!  I have selected three poems to share, one of which is by Jane Kenyon, titled "Ice Out." Now, here's the funny story about me and standardized tests. I discovered this poem, and Jane Kenyon's work, through proctoring some tenth grade standardized test decades ago. I was not as widely read in poetry as I am (and still am becoming), but I fell in love with the poem. I read the questions, and found them awful. But when it came time to turn in test materials, somehow (!!) that page of the test booklet ended up in my papers. I still have the purloined page in my files at work.  (I have a history with standardized tests-- when I was in elementary school, probably around 4th grade, I got in trouble while taking the IOWA tests. ...

One more day.  We'll see how many kids show up for the AP review today-- it's not mandatory, and most are going elsewhere. I'm even bringing blue-nana bread. Probably I'll end up taking most of it home. I don't know why they don't care about this test enough. Maybe I am too invested. I never wanted to do AP stuff, but I agreed to, and I'm up to my freakin' eyeballs in it. Literally. I have eyestrain that would fell a Cyclops. That said, we have a week off from school next week. I have a few things I want to do, a few things I should do, and heaven help me, I want to NOT think about school stuff except for the small collection of essays I will slog through. And I suspect it'll be a slog-- same group of kids, same ennui.  The roses need some attention. I have a slim volume of reflections by Ada Limon to read and review. And there's G's closet. I'm not sure much else will get done, or even should be done, but there's the rough plan. Toda...

The morning temps have been inching their way up over the last few days; today, it was 32. Spitting rain, but 32, nonetheless. The backyard is glowing green-- it always amazes me how vibrant the first grass is. The fruit trees are budding small leaves. The lilacs are leafing out. And of course, my eyes itch and I am snuffly, but it's okay. Spring is here. Spring means new life, right? Except, it's also the time of year-- May, specifically-- that we've buried our parents. It's a bit sobering, even though some time has passed.  On the other hand, it's still April, and Saturday is going to be fun, I hope. From 1-3 at North Country Community Radio, there is an open mic for poetry-- ending National Poetry Month with a bang. If you are local, come join us! Favorite poems and/or your own are more than welcome. It will be broadcast live, too, so if you are not around, tune in-- you can l ivestream it on the internet. Two more school days. Amen. I need a break in the worst ...

April is an expensive month, most years. This one, more so. Taxes--ouch. Windshield getting replaced next Tuesday-- 528.00 of ouch. New all-season tires coming Friday-- 484.00-- ouch again. And the sewer bill is the low-ball at 418.00.  Barftastic. When I hear the feds yap about how "gas prices are not that bad" they ought to pump some. Our gas bill (we use a credit card each month, then pay it off), capped out at $493.00 this month.  There's something incredibly broken if the feds think that prices are going down. That we are all willing to feel a "pinch" for the "greater good" of blowing up other countries. And which is it? Are they going down or a mandatory sacrifice? Upside down world.  Prices on everything are higher; costs of shipping things alone are driving that bus. I'm glad I have bought ahead on some things --would you believe, extra summer sandals and a second set of sneakers? I got those a while ago, knowing that the prices of imported...

The temps are disappointing-- 28 this morning. At least it's not snowing again. Yesterday was a strange mix of bluster, snow squalls, then windy and sunshine. The ball games were postponed (wisely), so kids will not be full of game recap/complaints, so maybe we'll get down to business today. Actually, I don't mind a small bit of game analysis; it shows they care about something, and that's a lot better than the dull, staring behavior I get from some of the others who either a/ live in their heads, or b/ have nothing up there, and they are broadcasting test tones.  I'm glad vacation week is coming up. I have so many this-and-thats to attend to. The long range forecast is disappointing in a lot of ways, but at least it'll be a more fluid schedule. Yes, we'll have Holly almost every day, but with G home, too, it'll be a little less stress for me. If it's not awful out, she'll go out to play. I will likely have to go, too, but maybe we can share the ...

Yesterday was a decent day. Church, then breakfast at the diner with Holly and G, then puttering around the house while Meg did some laundry. We got the spring/summer curtains up, and I have the pile of winter thermals to wash. No rush, though. And I got all my laundry caught up, too. G took Holly to her CCD class (last one of the year), then went to a meeting later on at work. I treated myself to a nice dinner from the new noodle place--so good. O my.  This week is likely going to be a very busy one; keeping things in order at work will be a priority. Vacation week is next week, and if you've ever taught seniors this time of year, you know what I mean. It's a challenge akin to herding cats.  I have no huge plans for vacation week, but it'll likely be some sort of cleaning/sorting/organizing thing, yard work if the weather behaves, and maybe a ball game? We'll see about that last one. If the weather is not going to cooperate, I'm not going to push the issue. We'...

I It's Sunday, 48 degrees, and raining. Again. Yesterday was a delightful reprieve; no rain. In the meantime, tree pollen and early flower pollen are making me itchy and sniffly, but hey, it's spring, and I'm not going to whinge about it.  How 'bout that word? I've been thinking about strange, rare, forgotten words again. I am a true nerd: I love etymology. I like to see how words happen, and how they change. One of my favorites is disgruntled . It's a negative of a word we no longer use, that being gruntled . And I love those words that do double duty, like cleave.   When I teach Robert Hayden's poem, " Those Winter Sundays ," kids always, always get hung up on the use of the word offices in the last stanza: "What did I know, what did I know/ of love's austere and lonely offices?" I then have to tell them about the monastic tradition of praying the holy hours, and how doing a quiet duty is an act of love.  I hope your day is calm, c...