on aging, yard work, and trying to navigate limitations... it ain't easy

I should not ever start my day by reading the news feed. I'm carrying around a whole lot of angst, and that does not help in any way.

What does today look like? I know there's errands and folding laundry involved. I want to do some outdoor stuff, but I don't feel confident getting into the roses when there's no one around-- if I topple, I will not be able to right myself easily. And no, taking a cell phone out into the rose bushes is not a good plan, either-- if it should drop, I won't be able to navigate safely to pick it up. So, that pressing project is likely moved to tomorrow. No matter. It'll get done. 

Confronting limitations is never an easy thing to do, and I'm really having a hard time with the new level of "be safe" and "pace yourself" that physical limitations are putting on me. I used to do so much, so quickly, and solo. It's damned depressing. And there's not a lot of help to be had; people are busy with their own to-do lists. I don't want to give up on the things I think are important, but I just don't have the crew to call on, nor do I have unlimited funds to hire things done. Sigh. I'm glad we have raised bed garden boxes, because I can do that. But the windows? The heavy cleaning that has to be done? The yard work? I understand now in a whole new way why some older folks' homes look like they've sunk into despair. I don't want that. So, I've got to figure out how to navigate aging. 

And before people start in with "your only (almost) 60" and "other people do..." and "just ask for help," we have to admit and understand that experiences are unique to the people living them, right? Yes, I have older-than-I-am friends who are running marathons, who skip and jump and do whatever they want. Good genetics, good living, whatever it is. Probably those, plus having taken better care of their younger selves. But I've always just been a plodding workhorse type, and now my body is telling me that it's time to slow the hell down. But the work load doesn't slow down. And I'm having a really hard time letting some things just get overgrown and/or dirty. 

Sigh. 

Enough whining, right? I'll do what I can. 

Hold your loved ones tight. Enjoy the day as best you can. Keep the faith.

C