Thinking aloud about summer plans while ignoring the 8+ inches of new snow




Isn't it funny that when you don't have to get up early, your body says...hey, fool, it's time to get up...

It's okay, I have coffee. 

I actually don't mind being up. It's the getting busy, hustling to hit the shower, etc. part that frustrates me most mornings. I'm not a morning person. I need quiet and about an hour to get all systems up and running well. Usually, though, I have about fifteen minutes on a work day. Could I get up even earlier, so I can have that quiet hour? NO. Five o'clock is sufficient. I manage. But oh, what a lovely feeling to put on the bathrobe and shuffle about with a cup of coffee that I don't have to gulp down. 

I'm waiting until the sun comes up to see just how much snow we got last night (and it is still snowing)-- the prediction was for 3-5; G says it looks more like 8+ inches. O lordy. Holly's last basketball practice is this morning, so we'll have to hope that it stops snowing and that the roads are not awful. It is a bit of a challenge. I'd hate to have her miss the last one. 

This summer, I think we are (we being the family) going to not enroll Holly in day camp. Instead, we are signing her up for a variety of experiences, and I'll have her most of the time. I hope it's a wise choice. It is just that the day camp is expensive, and she didn't really get that much out of it, except soggy, sweaty, muddy clothes and a sunburn. I am probably not going to do any summer conferences, either. First time in 26 years. I have been booting the idea of assembling a full poetry collection down the road for a couple of years now. Maybe if I actually had the time, I could work on that. And work on getting my house fully cleaned and organized. I've been in an awful tear to get things done, always too busy, and I think if I just had a little time, I could maybe right the ship. We bought the house in August (our anniversary!) of 2014, and from there, we have never done any really useful painting project, no deep clean, etc. G moved us out of our apartment and into the house in three days, and school started that week, so its like I've been waiting to do stuff since we got in the house. Every year, it's been work, then summer conferences, and family crises, and yeah-- it's amazing how time flies by even when you aren't having that much fun.

So maybe this is the year. We will set up the pool, I can attend to my garden boxes, and I can get some things cleaned up and organized. Maybe we'll even paint the kitchen. That would be huge. 

And here I am, listing chores, when I really would like to make putting my poems into a book-length manuscript a priority. I think I can do both. 

If I do pick up anything extra, I might do something with the Frost Place. We'll see about that. The summer reading series on Sundays will happen again-- that will be fun. It's also a project that needs some attention, so add that to my pile. 

But mostly, I want to "have a summer"-- not one that rushes by me, filled with must-do things. I'm getting older, and my body is not as responsive as it used to be. If I'm going to get any of these things done, including the manuscript, now is good. And I need rest. I feel like I've been out of breath (figuratively) for over a decade. Ailing parents, parents dying and the concomitant drama and chores that surrounded that, Meg's wedding, baby, Tim's surgery and the year-plus adjustments and difficulties, work stressors, and my own physical limitations all add up to "where the hell has time gone?" and I need to, as the Congresspeople say, reclaim my time. 

I feel like I've been completely out of balance for years. And it's time to fix that before it becomes set in concrete. If I get my house in order --literally and figuratively-- maybe I can be a lot more pleasant, helpful, and centered. It's a goal. 

I'll hang out with the feisty, fun, and hysterically funny four-year-old. Yes, I'll be tired, but y'know, she is worth every ounce of effort. And if I'm not trying to balance work/conferences with her needs and desires, it'll be a whole lot more fun. 

So, I think that's a workable plan. Focus on my house, my nascent book of poems, and my favorite kid. 

But first... let's get this winter biz out of the way. 

And have another cup of coffee. 

Hold your loved ones close to your heart. We all matter.

C

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