-- end of summer vacation...

Sunday-- I'm reading at church, we'll go out for breakfast, and then later today, I'll head up to the Frost Place for the last Sunday in the Barn with Bob reading. It's amazing how the summer, which appeared to stretch forever, has closed up shop in the blink of an eye. Or so it feels. 

There will be no more pool days-- the temps at night (except last night, go figure) have been around 40 degrees. The garden is still producing a mammoth hoard of tomatoes. I'll leave the carrots in the dirt for another month, at least. But the beans are pretty much done, and I still have not taken the tired pea vines out. Squashes are tardy-- not enough rain-- but we should have about another month or so for them to do their best. What a dry couple of months, eh? 

Last night, there was a thick layer of not-pleasant-smelling smoke covering everything, so we made sure all windows were shut tight and used the A/C. I have NO idea who was burning what, but in this dry spell, it's irresponsible. We have not had to mow the lawn in a month. The front yard is crisped brown. My poor blueberry bushes crisped as well; I hope they are only dormant, not dead. The berries dried on the branches. We water as well as we can, but there's no combatting such dryness, not fully. 

And to think, there was so much rain at the start of the summer. We didn't get the pool up until mid-June! And now we are going to drain it next weekend. It's a puzzle. 

And tomorrow morning, I'll be heading off to work. I've been struggling with a huge case of imposter syndrome: this AP gig is weighing on my mind. Too much pressure. I have to remind myself that the College Board accepted my syllabus, I know what I'm doing, the kids are familiar to me, and all I really have to do is occasionally drop some practice in there-- mostly a few timed writings and some multiple choice stuff, all of which I can download from the website. Seriously. I know how to teach. Why am I such a freaking mess? 

I assume I'll be a lot more settled once I get going. I sure hope so. I was feeling far too fragile yesterday-- a "down day" to be sure. Work, home, losses... yeah, a whole bundle of it, added to the end of my summer flexibility. Reading the news is poisonous. There's a lot of loss and fear there, too. Draining the pool is sort of a metaphor. 

Anyhow, I'm going to put myself in a positive frame of mind by doing what fills me up. I'm hoping to spend some quality time with people I love, people I like, and hear poetry. 

Tomorrow --indeed, each hour-- must take care of itself.

C