Into the Wild Wood and Home Again

After a series of really lovely summer days, we look to be getting a cool, damp one today. Which, to be honest, is okay if it's just a day or two. We could use a day to do other things (the pool is such a magnetic draw)-- and we are. Meg, Holly, and I are going to Tilton to do some shopping. I hope we have a good time-- and that there isn't a huge influx of tourists mobbing the outlets.  I don't have a huge mental list of things I need, but a closet refresh of a new shirt or two would be pleasant. I already placed a pick up order at BJs (toilet paper, seltzer, and so on), so we won't be wandering in the huge warehouse.  At any rate, it'll not be house work (though I think I'll sweep the floors and maybe do the bathroom before we head out).  How mundane. Seriously, this note is not that interesting.  What I want to write about is not yet fully formed in my head: something to do with anxiety, teaching, saying the right things, fulfilling the AP requirements and no...

It looks like another "typical" summer day today, and I, for one, am so glad. The garden is burgeoning. The bees are happy. My pool water is lovely. And I have a very light to-do list-- so I can enjoy all of it. The news is horrifying, more and more almost by the hour. But my back deck is calling, the bird sanctuary (okay, little area that the birds are happy in) is busy, and we have hummingbirds that are coming to visit the runner bean blossoms.  How do we manage this disconnect? How do I, on the personal level?  I don't know. But I slept well last night, my windows are open, and I hear house finches and cardinals.  Hug your loved ones and find your emotional oasis. We all need one. C

I finally spent a little time thinking more seriously about what a full poetry collection might look like. I'm in no real rush, because I'm still in the pipeline for my second chapbook which is scheduled to appear in print in May of 2026. I can't fathom trying to put two books into the world at once. But that said, I made myself a promise I'd look at what work I'm happiest with and start winnowing the contents, to see if/what there is that hangs together. A full collection is supposed to be at least 45 pages-- I have plenty of poems-- but I'm not seeing the cohesive arc as of yet. It's a lot easier to manage 20-25 poems into some sort of narrative, I'm finding.  That said, I pulled about 50 together, and I need to print them out and lay them out on the floor. Group them and hope to find the "middle"--develop a narrative arc that tells a story about-- ??  It'll take some time. What I've found is that if poems are arranged one way, they t...

I finished Ken Cadow's YAF book titled Gather. I liked it quite a bit, and I noticed that it covered some of the same social issues/ family issues that S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders confronts, but in a more relevant way to today's young people, especially those who live in our area of the country. Extreme poverty, classism, adult drug addiction, non-support from absentee parents, and a young person having to navigate this mess while being emotionally unready... all too familiar, I'm sorry to say. I hope I can get approval to put a few copies on the shelves at school. I know there are kids who would read it and love it, who would root for the main character and who would feel real empathy for him due to their own experiences. When people say that kids need to "see themselves" in a text, this is what we can do for them. There will be those people who object to the "salty" language, but I'd argue that the language is appropriate to the character and ...

Today's first reading at church is one from Genesis 18:20-32, and it recounts when the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah was imminent. God has had enough of their misbehavior, and he wants to wipe the slate clean. Abraham, always the faithful servant of God, stands up to God: "see how I am presuming to speak to my Lord, though I am but dust and ashes!" Abraham is going to bat for the people who have kept their faith, and who he feels don't deserve the punishment that is coming. He starts the negotiation with fifty people-- if fifty are innocent, would God spare the city? God agrees. Abraham chooses to negotiate even further, eventually getting it to ten. If ten innocent people are there, will God spare the city? And God agrees that for even ten, he will with-hold punishment. I've been thinking about this passage a lot lately, and it was a pleasant (and slightly spooky) surprise to me that this is the reading today. (And I'm reading!) The news cycle is filled p...

I watched Happy Gilmore 2 last night.  If you have fond memories of the original film, let it stop there. It was mildly amusing, but the whole thing was a little more than a little far-fetched, and the situation was dark (Happy has become a despondent drunk, among other things). I won't burden you with spoilers, but yeah... glad it was streaming on Netflix and not something I had to go pay ten bucks a ticket for. I haven't actually seen a decent movie in six months. I wanted to see Superman , but I think I'll wait til it is streaming, too. I like going to the movies, but the cost of snacks and tickets makes it a little bit of a gamble if the movie might not live up to the popcorn. The last two really good movies I have seen are A Complete Unknown and Conclave . I should add in the remake with "live action" incorporated of How to Train a Dragon , but since I already knew how it would end, I would classify it as enjoyable. I'm looking forward to the second hal...

I've written a few times lately about the need for community in these turbulent, toxic times. (Pardon the alliteration.) I have a group of friends, all former Frost Place CPT participants, who have become my poetry family. Since many of us have had some difficulty making the trip to Monson Arts, we have had to find a way to stay connected. Some of us are on Facebook, and there's always Christmas cards and sending good thoughts out into the universe, but there's also Zoom. While many of us felt some Zoom-fatigue after the pandemic (which is still lurking around, but you know what I mean), it's also provided us with an automatic lifeline as well.  We try to meet up once a month to chat and to share in some poetry-related fun, and it's really become a bright spot for us. Our friend Jaime sent it out the other day that she has been missing our community a lot, and thus we scheduled a date for next Wednesday evening. Now, usually there's maybe four or five of us who ...

We got the tomatoes propped up a little better-- trust me, these plants are out of control. It'll have to do. G also helped me get the pool cover unswamped; too much rain, and it was submerged and sagging to the bottom. I'll have to spend some time cleaning it today if we are to get in, but at least I don't have to figure out how to get the cover out with hundreds of gallons of water on top. But that will be after today's version of physical therapy.  I've been going to PT regularly since the end of June, and I think there's been improvement, but omg it hurts like crazy the next couple of days. Trust me, I regret every single moment of not keeping myself more "fit" or active, though the injuries that are the focus of these appointments had nothing really to do with either. But strengthening muscles around injuries is hard work when you've basically become Stay-Puf.  Shoes are another issue; I've never been known to buy "quality" shoes...

Our tomatoes appear to be first cousins to Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors. It's the weather-- wet, then hot, then wet again-- it's a jungle. The plants have outgrown the metal cages, the supplemental stakes, and now, we have to figure out what to do to stand 'em up. Probably metal stakes and hope for the best. The extraneous branches will need to be trimmed, too-- let some light and air in.  Sounds like that's part of today's "to do list."  I already cleaned bathrooms and the laundry is almost done.  I'd love a long, lazy day sometime or other, but I don't think it's gonna happen.  Neither is getting in the pool, to be honest. These 43 degree nights are making that a little tricky; the water is too cold. We are supposed to get some hotter days again, so maybe at the end of the week.  Summer needs to slow the hell down. I'm not at all ready. Have a good day-- C

The open mic/ featured guest event at The Frost Place was so much fun yesterday! It turned into a jam session, and believe me, folks are talented. I was so worried that the torrential rain would keep folks away, but nope-- we had a full house. This is heartening. It just proves we all need a positive community to belong to, if only for an hour or so once a week. And here we are, another week cresting the horizon. I'm hopeful of getting in the pool at least a couple of times this week, and I have PT scheduled for a couple of times, too. I am trying to gain some real mobility and less pain-- it's a slow process, to be honest. I get the feeling that I need to really focus on my physical health; mental health and spiritual health are things I can work on, but I've let my physical self go, and it is humbling. However, I am making gains, so that's positive. Because I'll be back at work in one month.  I read today that NH Gov. Ayotte has declined to join a list of other st...

UP, and it's a damp morning. I hope the weather clears.  I finished James yesterday, and I'm still contemplating what the text is telling me. I'm interested in how it does/does not dovetail to the Mark Twain classic. The character of Jim is fleshed out, with real concerns, family, fears, hopes, etc. The dichotomy presented by the dual diction in the enslaved characters is interesting to me (academically), but I'm not sure how the narrative is served by it, except as a puzzlement for the few white characters who overhear the enslaved people speaking "normally." I suspect that, as a device, it is useful in telling what the heart of the text is: people see what they assume they will see, and this, in turn, can be useful as a mask or shield.  Anyhow, it was a pretty quick read, and it was interesting. It didn't grip me the way a lot of the reviewers spoke about, though-- that may be just a matter of preference, but maybe it's because I was spending brain t...

Chilly start to the day (47 degrees), but that's okay. We needed a little break from the extreme heat/humidity. That said, it is supposed to be a decently warm day, so I'll get some baking done this morning before it gets too hot to run the oven. Not a lot of other news-- yesterday was productive in the way that doing some house chores and errands is satisfying. Nothing lasts, though-- the dishes need to be put away, a new load needs to be put in the dishwasher, and laundry-- always, there's laundry-- needs to be folded.  I'm not sleeping well; still, the busy dreams. Still, they involve students. I suppose it could be worse, but really, I'm tired, and I'm tired of trying to solve school-ish stuff in my sleep. It's July, and I want my brain to go on vacation.  I think what my tired mind needs is a distraction to counter the long week at APSI. We were going to go to see Superman (and I still would like to), but figuring out a good time to go is tricky. G woul...

The day started with light rain, and it's much cooler. I don't mind the break, honestly. I would not mind a single-shower day (I hate being sticky).  That said, I've got a couple of projects to get into today, and there's a small hiccup in the Frost Place series that I need to figure out.  And it seems I just can't stop thinking/working on school stuff. There's always something percolating in the back of my brain, I guess. When people think teachers have the "summers off" they have NO idea how that gets under a teacher's skin. And I cringe and bristle when folks-- as in right now, here, in mid-July-- say, are you all ready to go back?   Shaddup. It's awful to hear the school-clothes ads, the paper goods, the jolly "it's the most wonderful time of the year" bastardization of a Christmas song. And omg, HALLOWEEN CANDY IS ALREADY OUT?  I mean, yeah, we are all sick to death of much of 2025. But really-- slow your roll, merchandisers....

My dreams are still peppered with schoolish stuff; I'm blaming the week at APSI. In the waking hours, I'm not obsessed with school-- I'm soaking in all the hot weather, the pool time, the flexible mornings. When I think about work, it feels like drowning a little-- I'm not ready, I'm not ready... I need mental rest. Maybe it'll stop percolating through my subconscious tonight? I sure hope so.  I have to go to work today to make some printed copies of the packet of poems I'll need for my online poetry conference in August. I'll stop by to see my boss and talk a little about what I learned at APSI, too. Maybe that will put it into a box in a dusty corner of my brain for a couple of weeks. And I have PT again; I'm still sore from Tuesday and (moreso) from overdoing things (per usual) in the pool with Holly and picking raspberries.  Yes, raspberries! Our little thicket I planted a few years ago has become prolific! And the little blueberry bushes are pro...

Summer mornings-- when I'm not hustling my butt to a conference or church or something else-- are just what the soul needs. The windows are open, the air is humid but not yet scorching, and the bird chorus is really delightful.  Yes, there's the hum of cars streaming by, and a few other noises of human habitation, but for now, birds, quiet, and warm air are doing their magic. There's so much non-magical stuff going on in the world, the news cycle is toxic, and our future as a country seems at stake. Yet the birds don't care. The air is sweet. The fairy laundry is spread on the grass-- another hot day ahead.  I cling to these moments, knowing that they are ephemeral at best, but necessary as well.  I hope you have some quiet to cling to, too. C

My review of Patrick Donnelly's Willow Hammer is up on MicroLit Almanac today. That was a difficult collection to both read and write about. The subject matter is complicated; a person's not knowing about events, and sexual violence, and what, if anything, one can do with the knowledge after the fact. It's an experience shared by far too many people in our world -in our country!- and it breaks my heart to read the poems and to think, hey, there are elected people who have committed these heinous acts. And there are elected people who have experienced these acts, who still excuse abusers. And there are thousands of young women (in particular) who are shamed over and over again for being victims. It's a cycle of hell that should not occur, has always occurred, and women (and yes, men/boys, but women/girls more predominantly) are left trying to patch up their inner Selves.  That all said, it's a beautifully written collection, so you might want to check it out, or at...

Monday. No big plans. Amen. I'm tired from all the busy-ness, but it's all been a good thing. Yesterday's reading/open mic event at the Frost Place was so good-- we had a small crowd (but hooray! people came!)-- and hearing Syd Lea read from new work and some older poems was lovely. I've missed these events, and apparently, so have other people as well. Next Sunday is Kerrin McCadden's turn to take the stage--I hope we have the same success.  But today, I am going to try to take things a little slow. There's always stuff to do, but today's the first day I have not had to get up and go-- and I'm hanging in my jammies for a while longer. I have some projects to get into: I want to sort and type out my notes from the APSI, and I will do a quick mopping of floors (hope they dry-- it's super humid). I have some posters to put up around the area, so maybe I'll do that after lunch.  Other than that, I hope for a relatively quiet day. It started with a h...

Hearing Judy Collins sing, tell jokes, and reminisce about the years she spent surrounded by other iconic folk singers was just wonderful. It felt like we were all in her living room, just listening, laughing, and sighing along-- the audience sang with her at times, talked with her at times, and in general, we felt held. Held by the music, by her kindness, by her humor-- very much needed in these turbulent times. It's easy to forget our common humanity in the face of so much ugliness, but Judy brought us back to our Selves, back to what makes us funny and fragile beings.  At 86 years of age, she is not really slowing down much, although it is clear that she knows her energy well. Instead of trying to impress, she just wanted to engage with the audience. It was lovely, and the venue, The Colonial Theatre in Bethlehem, was the perfect size. The entire concert felt personal. And I, for one, am in awe of how she handled that Martin 12-string. Her piano playing was beautiful as well, an...

Saturday-- amen. I rented a movie last night and fell asleep watching it. I need to watch it again today, so I won't have wasted the rental fee.  I woke up at 1:15 to a torrential downpour that was so loud, it drowned out the sound of the a/c. I won't have to water the garden today. I will, however, need to chem the pool -- too much rainwater throws the balance off.  I need to do house chores and groceries today. I don't want to do anything, really. I'm tired from this week. My brain needs to sort it all out, and I'll organize my notes, probably Monday. I need a brain-break. That all said, I will get moving, do the stuff I need to do, and so on, because we are going out tonight! We have tickets to see Judy Collins! I hope your day is restful, C

Yesterday's conference fare was AP and poetry. Finally, I felt like I knew what I was doing. It was almost like I do even more to get my kids prepped to talk about poetry than the exam is asking for. So, that was heartening. I'm glad I came home right at 3pm; another weather disaster hit the surrounding area (not right in St. J., but Lyndonville, Burke, Sutton, etc.)-- three years in a row on July 10 there has been massive flooding. Red letter day, to be sure. We got a few sprinkles/light rain, but that's it. I'm sorry for those who can't get a leg up; and now, no FEMA to depend on. It's not a pretty picture for the NEK.  Today is the last (half) day of APSI. I'm pretty sure I know enough now to see what I can do to help my kids approach the test better. That was my goal, right? I'm also a little annoyed at the College Board for some of the testing format-- we've been told for decades not to use multiple choice. But yet the test-- the first full hour...

Day three was a better day, at least after the morning bit when I was trapped with two other people, one of whom is incessantly nasty. I don't like being talked down to, I don't like being interrupted, and I certainly don't like combative people who won't stay on task. The other woman, with her doctorate, has never taught short stories. As in, never. Yeeps. But I digress. The bitchy woman just kept denigrating the things I was offering up for consideration, even to the point of bitch-splaining what a cliche is to me. (I certainly do know what one is...she is so dang rude.) So, I spoke sharply. So, she stopped talking at me after a bit. I'm okay with that.  I'm at this conference to work, to learn, to do the tasks to improve my skill set. I'm not there to go all philosophical and meta and deal with the intentionally unanswerable things (ex. She: Why does a story need conflict? Me: Um, unless something happens, there's no story. She countered: But why do w...

Day Two of APSI was rigorous. I'm learning a lot of great strategies to help students work with unfamiliar texts in a meaningful and muscular way. I'm learning about the resources available to help students get test-savvy. I'm figuring out what kinds of supports I need to prepare for the students who will be in my class-- helpful hints, "cheat sheets" and the like.  I'm also finding out that many teachers from many different schools are under the same impression that they are being held to a really high standard, and for some of them, that pressure is making them flat-out difficult humans. Teaching is not easy, and under the current restrictions from communities and the government alike, it's getting even more difficult. That said, there's no reason to be snippy, obnoxious, or self-important. UGH. Not everyone in my class of twelve is prickly, but the few are really wearing on me. I want to learn stuff, not bitch about my situation. I like my situation...

OK, first day of APSI done, the rest of the week to go. It was actually pretty decent, and I am heartened by the fact that how and what I teach is apparently the way AP wants it done. I've learned a few neat strategies to use with kids to help them focus their lines of analysis and discussion so far, and that's always useful. I love the tricks of the trade. I'm feeling a little more okay with AP, since they have changed their focus away from "elitist" (Apex Predators) to being far more inclusive in both their methodologies and their mission.  That said, this 8 hours in no a/c in a heat wave is a thing. I came home and jumped in the pool for an hour yesterday. It was so hot in my car during the day that my new handicap hangtag melted into a twist and fell off the rear view mirror.  Today looks a bit cooler, if more damp/muggy. I'm grateful the dress code is summer casual.  And hey, here's the thing we've all been waiting for: I hope you can make it!  Ha...

Today is the first day of APSI (the "nerd camp" I'm signed up for). Last evening, there was registration, social hour, dinner, and a short meeting with the group-- I registered, I read in the courtyard for most of the social hour (I had no interest in the open bar sitch), and dinner was excellent, even though there's in excess of 300 people at this conference. The meeting with the AP Lit group went okay, although the instructor had not yet arrived. So, I assume we'll be doing introductions all over again this morning.  There is a HUGE book. I hope it is just a review copy of a text that can be used for AP Lit, and there's not going to be homework. I don't know if this is going to be a useful week or not, and while most folks seem friendly, most of them came with a colleague, so I'm just sort of sitting there. It's okay, though; I have no illusions of becoming fast friends with any of these people. I have little in common with them, at least for the...

 Short post: I am the lector at church today. The first reading from Isaiah speaks about nursing "with delight/ at her abundant breasts" (Jerusalem), and the second one discusses circumcision (Galatians). And we have a guest priest.  I'm in for it.  Wish me luck, C

On July 5, 1852, famed orator Frederick Douglass, himself a self-emancipated former slave, gave a speech titled "What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?" Yes, his audience was a sympathetic one, but yet he held nothing back. The full speech is quite lengthy, but it appears in excerpts in several places online.  While his subject matter was the gross inequities of celebrating freedom while so many human beings in the United States were not free, some of his passion carries over even into today's context. In one section, he writes: Americans! your republican politics, not less than your republican religion, are flagrantly inconsistent. You boast of your love of liberty, your superior civilization, and your pure Christianity, while the whole political power of the nation (as embodied in the two great political parties), is solemnly pledged to support and perpetuate the enslavement of three millions of your countrymen. You hurl your anathemas at the crowned headed tyrants o...

 e.e. cummings: “next to of course god america i love you land of the pilgrims’ and so forth oh say can you see by the dawn’s early my country ’tis of centuries come and go and are no more what of it we should worry in every language even deafanddumb thy sons acclaim your glorious name by gorry by jingo by gee by gosh by gum why talk of beauty what could be more beaut- iful than these heroic happy dead who rushed like lions to the roaring slaughter they do not stop to think they died instead then shall the voice of liberty be mute?” He spoke. And drank rapidly a glass of water William Carlos Williams: so much depends upon a red wheel barrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens

I'm really struggling with the whole "Independence Day" vibe-- my heart is too heavy as a result of the inhumanity that has been on full display for months now. There's not a lot left, or so it seems, of the norms that I and pretty much all of us in the country have been raised to believe.  What I do believe, and what I hold dear, are these things; Faith Family/Friends Doing good work for a paycheck that honors the effort Being kind to people; cordial or at least civil even if they are not Finding solutions to things that affect others--being a real help Solving my own problems if possible-- being a blessing, not a burden Integrity, compassion, forthrightness Curiosity and willingness to learn Hot coffee, good conversation, blue skies, clean air and water Great literature, music, art Quiet moments, warm blankets I don't know how to protect these things and the people I love, but that's my mission. I'm not sure how "free" we'll be, at least fo...

The news keeps us all on tenterhooks, all the while we know that nothing good is expected or will come from whatever happens in Congress. It can't. Whether it's a slow erosion of norms or if it's a total gut-stomping-- those are the choices, it seems. In the meantime, we are hoping to hang on, to navigate our way through the wreckage, and ... celebrate Independence Day?  Nah. I'm good. This should have been a bang-up palooza of a 4th, being the 250th and all that. I can't muster (all puns intended) the excitement or the energy. Freedoms, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, can't come with so much anxiety. That ain't freedom, eh? What I am excited about is the seven-week Sunday in the Barn with Bob featured reader/ open mic series that will begin on July 13th and run until August 24th. We've got a nice group of established poets coming (I'm hoping for two more), and I hope that local enthusiasm builds. We need community, as I wrote about yester...

I stayed in bed, snoozing and comfy, for a bit this morning. I've been so busy lately, I haven't felt rested. So, I rested. The news is horrifying, and I wish I'd stayed in bed-- sort of. But I have coffee, I have my family, and I have a lovely summer day ahead-- one that will include repotting some herbs and getting in the pool later-- and I have to focus on the blessings.  One blessing is my new colleague at school. She is a smart, funny, and incredibly interested person; she is also a former student of mine who is eager to learn and be a good teacher. I spent almost three hours with her yesterday, and I tried not to overwhelm her, but it's so damned nice to be able to talk to someone who not only "gets it," but who also wants to do well as a team! Hooray!  My PT for the hinky ankle/knee situation is going well, I think. I see better mobility already, but let's be honest, it'll take a bit of time, and I'll never be like I was years ago. But I am ...