Into the Wild Wood and Home Again

Wow, what a 6-day stretch of words, words, words! And hugs, and tears, and new ideas, and new friends, and--yeah, it was amazing. I took yesterday afternoon to drift back into my "real life"-- but then, poetry is part of my life, and it needs to weave itself back in. For quite a while, I've been living life in separate cubicles, mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically. Too regimented, too fragmented, too fractured. I'll take today to wander through my house and set things to rights, too-- a messy house distracts me.  On Wednesday, we were somewhat playfully instructed to write an oath that we'd keep for the last day and a half of the conference, and I'm going to keep mine. I think I'll revise it a little: To live intentionally; to honor my talent and my craft and to engage with them without limits. One thing that did surprise me this week about my own work is that I didn't immediately slip into the facile world of silly rhymes. This is som...

Well, look at me, prosing myself silly lately. The writing prompt for this part of our conference is forcing me to engage in some really imaginative stuff, and to combine it with some of my more familiar experiences. We are on a subway in the Underworld, and there are stops along the way. We've started at the river Styx, and had to get off the train at Lethe due to track repairs, and we get back on in Mnemosyne.  Forgetfulness and Memory... What will likely happen is that this long, involved prose narrative could be transformed into a long poem. Or a series of linked short ones. It's borrowing from the familiar mythology of Greek/Roman invention, but it is asking us to take that and go with whatever our imaginations want to say. Exhausting work, but really interesting. For the first time in forever, I woke up this morning thinking of where my narrative is headed next, and how I'm going to get my main character (a persona of me) back home again. And isn't that what I...

Well, apparently I may have a future in writing Hallmark-ish fiction.  Not really, but an extended writing exercise yesterday was a lot of fun, and it gave me some really great strategies on how to lead young writers into and through a short piece of fiction. Neat, huh? And it was not all about my broken psyche! Not self-reflective or indulgent at all! Hooray! It was essentially a meet-cute that involves a professional dog walker, a handsome stranger in a suit, and an unexpected re-meeting on an airplane. That's as far as I've gotten, and it's likely it'll just stay there, a little flash-teaser of formulaic romantic fiction.  We wrote seven drafts yesterday, three in rapid succession, and then four more after lunch. My brain was tired last night, for sure.  And the reading of the participants' work last night was fun, too. G and I didn't stay for the socializing after (we did have dinner with the crew before hand), as we were both pretty tired and 5am comes earl...

Another damp start to the day, and breathing is really awful. Canada is still on fire, and it's hell for asthma patients like me. I wish they had all this rain and damp. I've been writing a lot of drafts this week, most of which are just "etudes" but others may have some promise. What I've noticed is that I still have a lot of psyche work to do. I spent most of the last few years writing about my father's decline and death, and now it seems that some deep anger and resentment about issues in my childhood are bubbling up. O great, right? No wonder I'm not sharing all of these raw drafts with the group. No one needs to hear that stuff. Poetry is not therapy, but writing can help sort things out. It is not my intention to go digging like this; it's not comfortable, and it leaves me sad and exhausted. But there are things I need to say, to confront and deal with, I guess.  I am hopeful that whatever writing prompts we are given today, they lead me to somet...

The lushness of the grass, the trees, the hedges, even the weeds--it all belies the fact that there will be no fruit this year. Or little, luck-dependent, surprises amongst all this verdure. The snow we had late into the spring, when blossoms were settling and bees were busy, has frozen the crop before it ever really got started.  On the news, the estimate is for 85% loss; no apple picking with families this year. So far, the strawberry crops at commercial farms are okay, but the early greens like spinach and so on were hit hard. I have some hope for blueberries. But not my own micro-orchard; the trees are lovely, full and rustling softly in the breeze, but unladen. I think there's maybe five cherries on the tree that, last year, gave a full crop of tart, red fruit. I won't bother netting the tree; the birds can have that scant bounty. I had hopes for the apple trees, but I don't think it'll bear out. And the pears were in high blossom when it snowed and got so cold.  I...

I was talking with my poet-friend Teresa last night about my little chapbook, and how, although I think it's pretty seamless, maybe it's "too quiet." I don't know, but it took a lot of emotional energy and introspection to put that little book together, and it's not going anywhere at this point. It's a little disheartening. As we talked, I started thinking about what else I could put together, something that tells a story. I have a lot of poems to pull from, and maybe I can put a "sharper" or more energetic/challenging chapbook together. There's nothing saying I have to get rid of my other one, just develop a new one and see what may come from it.  Just not today. I'm already a little pre-tired, although I slept well. Day Two of the conference starts promptly at 8am, with me dictating today's poem.  I'd better get on with the coffee/shower/food thing. Have a good day, C

Today is the first day of the CPT at The Frost Place-- the first in-person since BC (before covid). I get to see my friends in person! I get to make new friends as well! Of course, we will gather in the barn at the historic home of Robert Frost, and of course, there will be bugs, and it'll rain. But we will be tucked away in the White Mountains, talking about poetry with other poet-teachers. And I get to do this every day til Thursday! I've done my best to get my house in order so that it doesn't crumble into dust while I'm busy elsewhere. I'll be stopping home mid-day each day, too, but it's always a bit chaotic.  Take good care, and read good words! C

Today is my birthday. Well, technically in about 11.5 hours from this writing; I was born at 5:22pm, just in time for dinner.  Appropriately, much of my plan for today involves family and food. Lunch out with Meg and Holly, dinner out with G. And NO COOKING for me; I love to cook, but sometimes it's nice to have someone else do it, and more importantly, someone else gets to clean up. Our dishwasher is still dead.  I'm not sure what else today will bring, but it looks like decent, warm weather. I'll take it. I'm going to try to focus on the good stuff today, and spending time with family and with sunshine should be a huge help. That, and staying as far away from the doom cycle on the internet. That's a habit I need to curb, and I think that it will be a gift to myself to do so.  So, 57. I don't mind saying the number. I get to be 57. Not everyone does. And I want to find and purchase some oriental poppies. I already found and ordered a set of pirate duck flags (...

I'm terribly disappointed in the political landscape, the obvious cronyism and seamy behavior of the SCOTUS, and the whole damned shebang of it. It's pretty clear that the golden ideal of people holding office to work on behalf of the people is a jaded and facile textbook blurb we were brainwashed with in school when I was growing up.  The shining moments in President Kennedy's inaugural address, the earnest speeches of RFK, even the impassioned diatribes by contemporary folks like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders are all tarnished. Yes, they are all human beings, but the ideals , folks, the ideals are there. Those are the things I was raised believing in, the tenet by which I've tried to live my adult life: to whom much is given, much is expected. Noblesse oblige went out the door when this squadron of self-serving, money-grubbing, spotlight-sucking sycophants and nincompoops took over.  Yes, I'm angry. Public service means just that: serving the public. Liste...

I just had a conversation with my daughter about the waste of resources and the diversion of manpower that it takes to mount rescue missions for overly privileged people-- the submersible that explores the wreckage of the Titanic is still missing. I think about the wealthy folks who go up for the minutes-long joyrides into space. The ones who have huge weddings and so on that require whole platoons of security. Part of me wants to say, hey, those events employ many people, so at least there are jobs created by so much hubris. But then, I wonder, what could be done to better humanity, to combat diseases, etc. with that kind of expendable cash? It's a tough call, but I think that I lean more towards using money of that magnitude to helping the most people. Wealth, to me, has never been a status symbol, any more than notoriety (I honestly do not care that thus and such a person met so and so). If we have one job to do on this planet during our brief sojourn here, it is to make other p...

Nothing is cuter than Holly putting the saucer down from her tea set so "the puppy can eats"--  I'm enjoying seeing the little person in my life  become a compassionate person. She is a delight. Even when she's "spicy"-- big moods+ no accurate vocabulary= frustration. I'm a lot more patient as a Memere than I was as a new mom. I'm glad God gives us a second chance to enjoy the littles while they learn and grow. Have a good day--we are off to get strawberries today! C

Week One of Summer Break: It's been raining almost daily for over two weeks. Everything is green, but soggy. We are expected to have some actual sunny-ish days this week, so I suspect  that the tardy garden will sprout up a bit. The only thing doing well at the moment is my green beans, and they need a neem oil treatment-- even in the wet, bugs have found the tender leaves.  What else? Hm. Housework, but that's a constant. Getting a mani-pedi on Thursday (it is a necessary thing, not just for show--). I already got a hair cut on Saturday. I liken this time of year to getting the car tuned up and oil changed-- we put off our personal maintenance a little longer than we should, and when summer hits, we notice that we've rather gotten a bit shabby and need a little tending.  At any rate, it'll be nice. I will get some fresh strawberries at 4 Corners, too. It's time. I don't think I'll pick them --I'm not in a place to deal with processing a whole flat of be...

Today, we are asked to celebrate fathers in all forms. So, Happy Fathers' Day.  I'm missing mine a lot.  Hug yours, if you can! C

Let's start with the good/relieving news: Tanner Houck is okay. Anyone who can sustain a line-drive to the FACE and not lose consciousness, who can walk off the field and salute the fans, is one tough guy. Last night's Sox/Yankees game was a rout; when Houck got hurt, the Sox were already up 13-1. I was afraid that, given the nature of the injury, the bullpen would be shaken up and the Sox would lose in spectacular fashion. They did not, though the Yankees did rally for a few runs. Final score: 15-5. Nice. That said, it's a rough outing, both for the players and the fans. The players will reconvene on the field at Fenway for another go at it tonight, and I suspect things will not be quite so lopsided, score-wise. It never is. But the game, and the potential for injuries, is a part of how we live, metaphorically. How do we respond to potentially devastating events? With grace and dignity, like Houck, or like TFG? (You know I had to slip that in there.) The bigger message, I...

I was reading in the news about the Supreme Court case that upheld the law that states that indigenous children should be placed for adoption within their cultural groups/tribes. I am, for one, surprised and pleased that the SCOTUS made a ruling that was a/ compassionate, and b/ culturally sensitive. I know, I sound (and am) a little jaded about the current Supreme Court, but given the last few years' worth of rulings, it seems logical to be a bit skeptical.  There are other lawsuits and high-profile cases in the news as well, well beyond the media circus surrounding TFG. One that is really worth following is the argument that children under 14 ought not to be working... a child labor law case that agricultural folks are fighting , though the bill does carve out exceptions for family farms. What it seeks to do is make it less likely that children from immigrant families are not put out into the fields to work, which seems logical to me. They should be in school. Yes, working teache...

I've been assiduously avoiding talking about much of the news cycle, because I cannot grapple with the fact that it seems a large swath of this country has no moral compass. I mean, I know that many people are stuck in an id-ego state. but to fully absolve a public figure of some notoriety of doing things that are clearly both wrong and illegal, and to further that absolution with cries of "they are picking on him" is mind-boggling.  Whataboutisms abound, and those folks just cannot or will not see that the walking scumbag is using them as props to both his ego and to his planned public events. Cannon fodder. Whole platoons of them.  In my more depressed moments, I worry that this is the end of the American Experiment. I've been saying that since 3:00am on that fateful day when the monkeys took over the circus. There's been a lot of poo flung since then, and it is starting to stink. The phrase, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to ...

It's amazing just how much stuff I can accumulate. I've moved classrooms a few times over the last three and a half decades, and each time I toss a ton of paper. This time, I'm not even moving classrooms, and I managed to fill the recycling bin and the trash can. I cleaned out desk drawers, a cabinet, and a rolling utility cart (it's cavernous!)-- and found stuff I "saved for later"--and that is a good thing, too, since it is now later, and I need them! What I kept, and likely did not need to, are college notebooks of mine. Why? I have no idea. They were hugely helpful when I was a new teacher, though, to review and make notes from so I didn't look like the newbie I certainly was. I re-read some of my papers that I wrote wayyyyy back when, and I'm always partly ashamed at how facile some of my assertions were, but also partly pleased with the budding scholar I was as well. Nice little trip down memory lane, anyhow--so I kept them. I probably won't...

  “ Regimes ban books, not democracies. ” -J. B. Pritzker, Gov. of Illinois Finally, some sane people.  I'm not holding my breath, though; there's so much ignorance and enforced ignorance rampant, it's a bit toxic in the US right now. But maybe this is a little ray of hope. Cooler heads are starting to rise up, I think. It is too early to tell for sure, but maybe...?  Amanda Gorman's poem/book is number one on Amazon (thx Florida). Thousands are turning out for free book distributions that are countering the bans. People are, in the main, not ridiculous. So why are the elected "elite" so radical/reactionary/stupid? As I pointed out yesterday, we common folk can do a whole lot if we just realize our strengths.  Go read. C

I read with interest this short article on NPR with wonderful photos about how the carpenters are using older technology and strategies to rebuild the roof trusses of Notre Dame in Paris. I'm always in awe of how the cathedrals of the middles ages were built, and by whom. Author Ken Follett has a series of unbelievably rich novels (the Kingsbridge series) that focuses on those workers and the muddy little villages that became major metropolitan centers of commerce and religious life. I get sucked in every single time, and to be honest, reading well-researched historical fiction is my very favorite way to learn about history. I don't mind reading and learning about the major figures that appear in our textbooks, but I'm always far more fascinated with the whole idea of how average people, with nothing more than a deep commitment and some fabulous talents, made such awe-inspiring structures. I'm really enjoying A Column of Fire , and the fourth novel in the series, The Ar...

O lookit that! We have a potentially dry day ahead! Oooo the possibilities! Ok-- there are weeds that are approaching Jurassic. I may need a machete and a pith helmet. I was going to make sourdough bread, but I think I'll just make a couple banana breads today, so I can spend more time reclaiming the garden and so on.  It also seems like the smoky haze has finally dissipated, which will make for a better breathing day, too. This week's forecast looks iffy: okay tomorrow, rain Tues., showers Wed., T-storms Thursday, cooler but maybe not rain Friday? Bleah. I'll take today.  I have a few papers to grade, but I also have plenty of time tomorrow when I get to work, since the seniors are done (today is graduation for them-- I'm glad it's not raining). I feel like summer's holding its breath, just waiting for me to be done. I really wish it were warmer, but we'll take what we can get. It's probably a good thing it's not too warm, given my classroom lack of...

Well, the news cycle has a few hot points, doesn't it? What with indictments and so on... but my big news? My green beans not only survived the incessant rain we've been having, but they are about 4 inches tall! Hooray! I don't have to replant my garden! And the Red Sox beat the Yankees last night! Today, I will attend to the usual Saturday chores: groceries, folding Mount Laundry (as my daughter is fond of calling her own pile), and sweeping/vacuuming this house. How it gets so cruddy, I don't know, but there are drifts of dust, dog hair, and other detritus. I suppose it comes from having a busy family-- even though it's "just" me and my husband (and the aforementioned doggo), Meg and Holly are here almost daily as well. It's not a large house, so it shows the dirt quickly.  Meh, it'll get done. Tomorrow, the weather is finally supposed to be both partly sunny and warm, so the weeds will be taking over the world. I will attend to that chore and to...

  Ahh, coffee. Totally a necessity and truly a pleasure. It's dreary, wet, chilly again this morning, the wildfires in Canada are still smouldering and the particulates are still drifting towards us (though further south is getting really toxic). In short, the only thing that is different in my little world at the moment is that it's Friday, and my seniors are done. That leaves me a little stretch of time today to work on a few small projects in my classroom, and then we have awards at 1:00--thus, no juniors today. I think I'll get some cubbies cleared and put some books away that have been residing in slowly-falling-apart boxes.  Or not. We'll see. I am not sure I want to get into a dusty project, given the state of asthma this week. I may do some "other" work-- I need to curate a list of five poems or so for my conference at the end of the month. I have a new poetry book to read, one that I've been asked to write a review for-- that could be really nice....

The weather continues to be dreary and un-summerlike; the air we breathe continues to be filled with particulate matter from wildfires-- the photos from NYC and other metropolitan areas are frightening. The air is literally toxic, the skies are orange.  So, how about those climate emergency deniers?  Ugh. When the precise things that science has warned us about happen, there are still those people who seek other explanations, rooted in everything from Divine Retribution to blaming immigrants. It's time we took a hard look at what and how people come to their wrong-headed, noggin-knocking stupidity. And yet, there's still a fast-moving tidal wave of reactionary behavior at the highest levels in many states: by gutting curricula, we can make the bad things go away.  Then there's the very real existential and practical threat from AI; we are, if we are not careful, going to be algorithmed to extinction. I know, that sounds alarmist, but there are next to no guardrails in pla...

O hooray, my two brave students performed their poems admirably! Maybe a little nervous, maybe a little rushed, but they did fine. I have not heard any feedback yet, and I'm not sure I will, as most folks were there to see their young ones in the elementary band and so on... we'll build on this, for sure. Maybe have original poems read at the Christmas concert? Or a dramatic reading of some Christmas poems? We shall see. That's months away, thank goodness. I wonder, now, just how our young people are going to find their favorite poems and poets. It used to be a regular part of what we learned in school, but now it seems it's all coding and STEM and testing-- perhaps that's not the case, but I see a yawning chasm in the curriculum where a love of language used to be. Where are our next poets and novelists going to come from? Creative kids are now turning to creating graphic novels, mostly "fan fiction" types of things, or they --the more adventuresome types...

read an article yesterday about The Grand Dictation that was held recently in Paris, France. The gist of it was that, in order to boost literacy and have a little fun, over 1700 desks were set up, and people were selected from a wide range of ages and backgrounds to participate. What was interesting is that, of the two people interviewed for the article, the older person found it fun and easy, and the school-aged child struggled and found it "impossible." Taking dictation used to be something people always knew how to do and do efficiently; now, with computers in every school-child's hands, this skill is too difficult for most of them to do. The screen and the keyboard are, I think, a distraction from processing the words heard quickly. I've seen this for years with my own students; they can't take lecture notes (who lectures anymore?), they can't write down a simple list of instructions without them being repeated, etc. I've long been a huge fan of dict...

The last week of classes for seniors is always a bit hectic. The soon-to-be-released-on-un-unsuspecting-world young adults are, at times, very serious, often moody, and sometimes even revert to silly behaviors more fitting to middle schoolers. It's a momentous occasion in their lives, and they don't quite know what to do with all of the emotions: stress, sadness, excitement, worry, etc. I have to take a deep breath and let them work through their "big moods" right now. It happens every spring, so I'm used to it. As long as they get their final paper done and in on time, all else is window-dressing.  For the ones left behind, the juniors and below, the challenge is to keep them corralled long enough to make it to the last day--ish. This year, there are actual activities that may keep them coming in, one of which is a generously-funded full day trip to Boston. I can't walk all that, so I will not be going (and that breaks my heart-- I love doing the things on th...

The deep freeze of just a couple weeks ago apparently has wrought devastation already to the fruit crops in our area. I suspected as much; the apple trees were in full blossom and then it snowed. There will be some fruits, but few local peaches and apples. Berries are also affected. I see that I have cherries forming on my tree, but the apples are still forming-- I hope. This will hit our local farmers very hard. Going to farmers' markets will be a kindness, even more than usual. When people rail on about our interdependence on global food markets, that we should rely solely on our local produce, I understand their argument. Helping local producers will not only be an economic boost, but will also give us the freshest options. Yet, when something like this freeze happens, if we were to depend only our local produce, there would be a gaping hole in our food supply. There's already far too much processed food in our children's diets, and we preach eating fresh fruits and veg...

What a weird weather week for May, eh? Well, it's now June, but still. 90s? In Northern NH? My goodness, but last night's brief t-storm and steady, soaking rain was a relief. The kind of relief, say, we need/feel in mid-July. Either way, my garden (and water bill) are happier. It's about 55 degrees at the moment (6:34 am), and the air feels cooler, less intense. There was a rebroadcast from 2021 on Science Friday yesterday of an interview with a climate scientist who was talking about the shift in our weather/temps; we should expect warmer summers, with somewhere between 50-60% chance of extreme heat episodes. This is a trend that has been building for a few decades, as tracked by pollen records. It seems that the warmer climate causes plants to become bigger, and the blossoms bigger, and the pollen season is also extended--leading to more intense and longer allergy seasons for those who are affected-- mainly in grasses and tree pollen. They have been tracking this for onl...

Have you ever considered how many songs reference the word hot? I mean, not as a descriptor of a human being (though those songs exist), but more, the weather?  One of my favorites is Mungo Jerry's "In the Summertime"-- here's the link to the song with the lyrics. Why do I like this silly tune? I have no idea, except no one is complaining about the weather in it-- they are just enjoying it and boppin' along. I like summer weather, I don't mind the heat usually, if I can dress for it and slow down a little. Granted, my classroom was a complete sauna yesterday, and that was pretty gross, but hey, two more weeks, right?  One other song I absolutely adore  is James Taylor's cover of The Drifters' " Up on the Roof. " It's not really summer-related, but I envision the setting being hot and sticky, and the person is just rising above it all, literally-- getting a breath of fresh air and perspective.  Something we can all use, right? Have a good ...

Yesterday was a truly hot day, both outside and in my classroom. It's especially hot because the window cranks are busted and we can't open all the windows. So, the fans stir the hot and fetid air (fetid, because that many groups of humans occupying the space during the day means...yeah, it smells a little like hot human).  Ew.   Two more weeks, and I can keep my own windows open as I wish, and gulp fresh air. Sort of fresh, anyhow. The omnipresent haze from wildfires mutes the sky, and those of us with compromised breathing will let you know that things are not quite right. Usually, it's the West Coast, but this week, it's Nova Scotia. And it is incredibly dry-- I've watered my fledgling garden nightly for a short span of time, mindful of the water table and my water bill. We have possible showers in the forecast for tomorrow, and a cooling down of the temps for next week, so that'll help a little.  It seems the cooling down of temps occurred in the House last ...