...and it's almost Advent. Slow down!

I am really quite tired, it seems, from the whole crazy busy-ness leading up to this more-than-needed break. Yesterday went pretty well; yes, the four year old got bored and a little grumpy (but some games and projects helped), but other than that, the food was good, and it was relatively peaceful. Five of us made a huge dent in that 18 lb. turkey, but I'm pretty confident I'll have enough to parcel out leftovers for dinner for the next two days. We'll see about whether there's enough to bother with for soup; probably I will manage that, too, on Sunday. 

It's a day of reprieve today. I've opted not to go downtown at all. I don't need anything, and as lovely as the parade is likely to be, it's cold, and I'm just not up to standing there on the sidewalk for any long period of time. Age has crept up on me, I guess. Or rational thought. Could be both. And Meg and Tim are taking Holly to see Santa, but they don't need me along for that. I'll see the pictures. They are heading out of town for a couple of days, so G will be doing their pet maintenance. I will be trying to get my act together: papers to grade, of course, but also the start of the Advent season. G brought the nativity pieces down today. I'm not sure that the advent candle wreath is in that box, though, so I'll have to check on that. And I want to get all the window candles up and running. It's a shorter time this year (yes, I understand that it's not really, but it sure feels like it), due to the "late" Thanksgiving. I'll get our wreath at the church Sunday after Mass (we have a charitable group that makes them). 

At least G and I figured out where the Christmas tree will be this year. With the new doggo in residence, I didn't really want to tempt fate too much, so we'll be putting it up in the front room, here where my desk is. We can at least shut the doors to this little room to keep the curious and wayward pup out of mischief.  But here we are: the hustle and bustle of getting into the Christmas readiness season. I say "readiness" because once Christmas is here, the fuss is pretty much done. I've purchased a few presents-- none of us besides Holly really needs much, but still-- and there's not a lot of decorating to do. I used to do a lot more, but frankly, less is better. The window candles, once up, will stay until Candlemas, if the batteries hold out. The small decorations will be tastefully put here and there-- but nowhere near the whole Christmas-blew-up level I used to do. The tree will be gotten mid-December, somewhere around the 14th or so. It's too dry in my house to have one up too long. The marathon cookie baking just won't happen anymore-- why do it? We don't need it. I'll probably make some molasses cookies and some snickerdoodles, but not like I used to. I don't know what I was compensating for, back then. Dozens of decorations (so many nutcrackers!) all over the apartment, close to 50 dozen cookies made-- all for what? We don't need to chase a crazy schedule, shop beyond what we need, spend our time, talent, and treasure wastefully. What we need is some quiet time. It's like I somehow felt that if I decorated enough, baked enough, wrapped enough, I'd create some magic.

Family is enough. 

We'll figure out what the holiday dinner will look like, but even that, I'm not all that committed to making a huge fuss. Seriously, I used to pick a color scheme each year, and get everything from linens to candles to complement this crazy, Martha Stewart idea in my head. Enough already. I'll be pleased if the floor is washed and the laundry done. 

There are some things I will do: bake tourtiere for Christmas Eve. Fills stockings for all of us. Wrap some presents in plain red paper (story for another day). I will go to church and center myself as much as possible. I'll try to watch all the movies I love (I didn't last year-- so many reasons, none of them all that good, really, mostly exhaustion and depression-related). And I will bake cookies with Holly. 

Mostly, I'll reclaim my space in the gush and firehose of it all. At least, that's the goal right now. 

And yes, I'll probably lose my noodles at least once a day, but that's not all that unusual. But it won't be about keeping to some schedule that pushes me/us past endurance and that will spoil the fun and wonder of the Christmas season. People say, "remember the reason for the season," and it's true-- we can get sucked into so much "must do" that we forget about "get to do"-- and that's a real loss. 

So, soon enough, I'll lay out the gifts I've bought, see where there are "holes" (stocking stuffers, probably), and that'll be enough. I'll work out my baking days with Holly so that it doesn't feel militarized. And I'll put holiday music and movies on so I can drown out some of the ugliness in the news. I've volunteered to be a reader in the Lessons and Carols program we are having at church. It's the first time we've ever done this, and I'm super excited. That makes me happy. And I got tickets to the Nutcracker ballet for Meg, Holly, and me-- that also makes me happy (assuming all goes well, and the weather doesn't get gross). But I'm refusing to create or chase a schedule that saps the energy from my body and mind. That's a gift I'm giving to myself. 

I hope you have a restful Friday. Hold those you love closer every day. Let your own window candles hold he darkness at bay.

C