Engaging with what we love and mending fences--

Much cooler day today-- I don't mind a little break in the heat. Yesterday was pretty nice, though-- great weather, and the pool water was ideal. You know, when you can't tell where your body ends and the water begins... it was perfect.

We had a delightful visit/lunch with old friends yesterday, and it was really great to catch up a bit. I always wish the visits were longer. Maybe someday! If anything "good" has come out of our national crisis, it's the realization that we are on borrowed time, always, and we have to connect in person with the people we cherish. 

And we have to do the things we cherish. Tonight, I'll be at the Abbie Greenleaf library in Franconia, listening to this year's poet in residence at the Frost Place, Nathan Xavier Osorio, read from his work. I don't know him, and I've only read a couple of his poems online, so this will be awesome. Likely, I'll be coming home with a book. I usually do. 

That said, I've spent a lot of time being annoyed/angry at situations and people over the years, claiming some sort of moral "high ground" by boycotting things that I used to love. While I do care about the way things fall out, why have I been so reluctant to re-engage, now that time has passed? I don't have to toss away the things I love; instead, I can pick and choose and tread cautiously. Time is too damned short, right? So I'll go to the reading, and I'll enjoy myself. It's a promise I've made to myself-- get back to the things that make me who I am.

I wonder if, at some level, people refuse to engage in things out of not really spite, but as a manner of self-protection. We think, "if I open myself up to this level of vulnerability, I'll be hurt again." And that's sometimes true-- I have done that, and I have been hurt. People let us down, promises are broken, they turn out to be less than you thought they were. Activities don't always sustain us, even when we've tried our hardest to be good at something, or to like something we "should."  But still, if it's not deeply personal, if it's a matter of re-engaging with things and activities you love to try them again, it's worth it. Mend fences, right? 

So anyhow, I'm mending a few lately. With people, with activities, with my own physical being. With so much threatened, so much at stake in the world, I want to be my best self. Only then can I help others through these darkening times. 

Have a good day, and do something you truly enjoy!

C