Into the Wild Wood and Home Again

Thomas Hardy's " The Darkling Thrush" is much on my mind these days. It was first published on December 29, 1900, but a handwritten note on an earlier copy referred to 1899. The world was teetering on the edge of a lot of changes: the new century, the rise of rampant capitalism in the wake of the burgeoning Industrial Age, and the widening disparity between the very rich and the working poor. Even rumblings of the unrest that would lead to the first World War were becoming apparent. Sounds familiar. Several paradigm shifts threatened stability both on the wider scale and on the personal.  The poem is bleak, to be sure. The images call up a broken world, a black-and-white world, with a distinct chill in the air and in the heart and soul of the speaker. Such phrases as " The tangled bine-stems scored the sky/  Like strings of broken lyres" paint a picture that is bereft of hope.  I have been feeling this way for a while -- a lot of people have. It's hard to f...

It's Tuesday, it's 14 degrees, and the world is a little iced over-- but it seems traffic is going along as it usually does, so it's likely that only the side roads and driveways of the north country are slick. I, for one, am super happy I am not navigating that mess. It's another coffee+bathrobe=peaceful morning.  I had originally scheduled a covid vax booster for today-- and last night, I moved it to this coming Saturday. Why disrupt my peace? If past experience holds true, I will feel a little icky and sore, so I'd much rather do that on Saturday than today, when it's mid-vacation week. And it is a vacation now-- I got my book review done (should be posted today, actually), and I got my Google Classrooms up and functional. Those were the two "big" things looming, and I got those out of the way. For once, I did not plan any major house-hold cleaning or reorganizing things. I'm content to just do the usual upkeep. Maybe I'm learning, finally, ...

We are under a thick layer of shiny glaze, iced over, a carapace.  How often do you get to use the word carapace, anyway? I'm glad I don't have work today (though likely it would have been canceled). G is slowly wending his way to Lincoln, and Tim and Holly are going to slide on over here shortly. It'll be nice to spend the day with Holly; there are projects to do, and cookies to bake... and pjs to dwell in.  Ah, vacation.  I didn't sleep well last night (not sleeping well is a usual thing, unfortunately). I think I may need a new pillow. I'm just not that comfortable, and that means I'm up every 90 minutes or so. Not a good thing. Maybe tomorrow I'll venture out to get a new pillow. We'll see.  But today, I'm staying right here. From the sounds of things, the main road is not too bad (traffic is whizzing by), but my driveway is a bottle. A wet, slippery one.  Ice sucks.  Have a good day, friends. Hugs all around. C

Dark, and five degrees below zero. Hello, flannel. And wool. Not that I've been wearing much else for weeks (months?)--  Today, Sunday, is going to be (I so decree it) a relatively relaxing day. We'll head to church, then get some breakfast, and then I'll get the turkey soup going. I froze the remains of the Thanksgiving Bird, and so it'll be popped into a soup pot and simmered-- holiday redux. I'm kind of tired of heavy foods, so soup for dinner sounds about right. And dumplings. Of course.  Maybe twice in 38 years have I ever made a chicken or turkey soup without dumplings. But my poor husband must have been traumatized, a strange form of food PTSD, and he asks Every.Single.Time if there will be dumplings.  Yes, there will be dumplings.  I'll debone the carcass once it's simmered long enough, and put in tons of veggies (hahaha--evil plan), return the meat to the soup, and let 'er cook for a while. Then, I'll put the whole shebang into the fridge. ...

UP, and it's dark and cold. I guess you can say it warmed up last night-- from 4 to 8 degrees. Luckily (actually, by design) I have only groceries to get and laundry to fold today. It is supposed to warm up to the 20s, but it's not there yet.  Neither am I. I'm enjoying another bathrobe and coffee morning-- and I'm in no rush at all. I have not had a stretch of loosely structured "me" time in ages, and I'm thoroughly taking advantage of it. Holly is with her dad while Meg is at work, and I'm here with just the dog and the ticking of the pellet stove.  Yes, Cece is busy running to the window, waiting for Holly. She gets so disappointed that Holly's not here. She'll be in her glory next week when Holly is here almost every day. We'll have a good time. But in the meantime, it's me+coffee+bathrobe=quiet.  Yesterday was hugely productive; I not only got most of the house chores done (it's clean enough), but I also got that long-overdue b...

We had a really relaxed day yesterday, which was ideal. Holly got lots of good things to read, do, and watch, and we all had a few nice surprises in the packages. Mostly, the best part-- family time. No rushing, no agenda, just hanging out.  And now, the quiet.  It's been a very busy few months, and my brain is clicking on empty. Yes, I have a to-do list for the week ahead, but none of it says, "clean this...rearrange that..."-- well, not more than the usual upkeep, and of course, removing the tree. But not today. Not for many days. Mostly, it has things like "inventory the freezer and see what you need to get at the store" and "finally write that book review." I need quiet to get things done, but mostly, it's to recharge my inner self. I am a person who needs an hour or two (minimum) of quiet time daily in order to maintain balance. I have not had that luxury for quite some time, and I'm going to revel in it.  The quiet is really wonderful, ex...

Happy Christmas! I got wondering whether Christmas is an obligation or a celebration-- or both. According to the Catholic Church, it's a holy day of obligation (must attend mass). But according to the secular world, it is a celebration. But what are we celebrating?  I suspect that, for much of the Western world, the celebration has become, as Charlie Brown says, "too commercial" ( good grief! )-- and yes, we like to give and receive presents. And yes, there is the bumper sticker saying that it's "about presence, not presents." Valid.  What are we obligated to do, though? I understand that not all of my readers are Catholic, but still, it's a point worth pondering. If the Gift we receive is the birth of the savior, then what are we then obliged to do with it? Because it's not a gift we can keep to ourselves; that is what, unfortunately, some "neo-Christian" sects seem to be doing: they feel they have the corner on Christ, and others need not...

Ahhhh. The hot water saga.  We got an experienced tech this time (same company), who determined that it was not the heater itself, but the breaker. So, an electrician was called. We've had a lot of fellas in our house this morning, but before all that started going, I had the tourtiere made and the lasagna for tomorrow is dwelling in the fridge.  If this water situation is now solved, then we'll be able to SHOWER!!! and make molasses cookies, and get to church this evening... assuming the snow settles down, too.  It's Christmas Eve, and we are tracking Santa with NORAD. There's an excited four year old  who is trying her best not to spin out of control. We all are, really.  I hope that the season brings a measure of peace. Or at least, less stress. The national and international situations will have to take care of themselves for a short time. The who , not the what , are important.  God bless you and yours. Give and receive love in abundance. You are all ...

Well, it's a chilly start to the day.  20 degrees. No hot water.  Cold shower. Usual fixit-dude can't come. Working this morning, hoping I can get a repair person to come fix this situation, and yeah... great start to the vacation? Yay. Hold onto your loved ones,  C

Did someone grease the runners on the sled? I feel like I'm being whisked from here to there. After a relatively quiet Sunday, today and tomorrow will be full-tilt. Yes, I meant every word I wrote yesterday about the true gift of Christmas, but here in the pragmatic world, I still have to bake something, and make sure the house is relatively clean. And I have Holly to tend to, as well, and as I'm sure you are aware, being four and it being almost CHRISTMAS!!! is a big deal. A hard-to-regulate-my-big-emotions deal.  So, there's that. Today she is a guest student at my school in the Pre-K, since her school is closed until after the break. I am super grateful that the fine folks who run the school and the program are so nice-- otherwise, where would she go? Seriously, child care in our area (like much of the US) is hard to find, and since she rarely needs a place to be, impossible. No one does a one or two day rate. I don't blame them; it's their livelihood.  So, Holl...

UP, and it's dark and chilly. No surprise there.  Am I ready for Christmas? Not really. Maybe. I'm not even sure what that means, at least as it applies to me, preparedness, and so on. I used to decorate every square inch, bake hundreds and hundreds of cookies, buy special outfits, and work myself into a tizzy. But now, I wonder if I was just trying to not be ready, to not accept that the true gift of Christmas was the birth of Jesus, and the rest was just human frailty and avoidance, dressed up as celebration.  To accept the gift of Jesus is a monumental responsibility. It's a blessing, yes, but one that must be shared with others, not through proselytizing, pamphlets, loud exhortations (remember those Pharisees on the corners with their extra-large phylacteries), but shared by the way one lives. And I know that I, for one, fail far too often in my living out of the gift. But I try, not for show or to be seen, but to do what I can, where I can, for whom I can, as often as...

 ...and here we are, back in seasonal temperatures. A light dusting of snow covers the expanses of mud from yesterday's odd 60 degrees and driving rain with high wind. I'm sure there's ice pockets, too, so I'll have to be especially wary when we venture out later for basketball practice.  It's Saturday, and I have the usual busy agenda. Not too unwieldy, but the groceries must be bought, and the house could use some real TLC. Yesterday, I achieved most of the wrapping: there are a few last-minute things I need to wrap, but mostly, it's done. I don't mind, but it is a bit tedious. Still, they look pretty, all those small parcels in festive paper. Except the basketball. I was not going to test my creativity on that one.  It's a "noiseless" basketball, intended for indoor play. Yes, it's regulation-sized, which is a little too big for Holly, but it'll be fun for her to work with. As she just now told me (about going to practice): "we ...

Mid-40s and rainy/windy start to the day. It's messy, to be sure.  Today, I'll be shuttling Holly here and there, and in the interim, I hope to get my gift-wrapping done. And probably some house chores. The kids at school have a sub, and I'm told he's a good one, so I'm not going to worry.  So, good stuff: when a student admits to having actually cried at the death of a character in Hard Times (Dickens!)-- others were outraged at his death. They are appropriately irritated with other characters, too. Just goes to show, Dickens is still relevant. Maybe even more-so these days, given the wealth and power inequities that are all around us. The lack of agency for the common worker. The lack of safety measures, clean air, water, the insufficiency of the mandated educational model... yeah, read it, if you haven't. It's not very long, but it packs a wallop. Dickens railed on and on about these issues in just about every one of his books. Change came, eventually.  ...

Another day, another damp/dreary weather forecast. Rain is moving in later on, and it's supposed to be 50 and pouring rain all day tomorrow. Then the temps will plunge to the teens. Figures, it's Holly's concert day. Pray that the roads don't become treacherous.  The weekend is shaping up to be normal-ish. Holly has bball on Saturday morning, then I need to do a big grocery shop (yeehaa). Sunday will be church and maybe G and I will venture out to do something holidayish. We'll see. What I want most is a little rest. Then, it'll be two more days at work. Every other district took those days off, but nah...we're Lisbon. We'll have a regular day on Monday, and then a "fun" half-day on Tuesday. I'm showing Patrick Stewart's A Christmas Carol. It's my favorite version of the story (as movie). And yes, I own a strange amount of versions. It's a mild obsession.  But that said, I am looking forward to Friday morning-- I'm taking a...

Quick note-- running behind a bit today.  The forecast over the next couple of days is horrible: rain. Rain. Rain. Then plunging to cold again. I hate ice. Holly's concert is on Friday at 5:00-- let's hope the temps don't make it a death-defying event.  This head cold is making me groggy. But it seems I'm just about the only adult left standing (besides G)-- the other household has flu.  I hope we can get through to the end of this week without any further complications. And without Holly getting the stupid flu. Hope you have a good day, friends. Keep the faith. Hold your loved ones close.  C

Today, a brief note. It's 3 degrees. We are expecting 40s and rain by week's end. ugh. Messy, to be sure.  We'll be wrapping up Hard Times in Brit Lit by week's end, too-- it seems they like it, and I expect I'll be getting some varied drafts of a paper when we get back from the holiday break. I sure hope so. I hate nagging. I hope they are ready to work hard for the last couple of weeks. We'll be wrapping up Braiding Sweetgrass in APLang tomorrow-- they actually do like this book, and I think the papers that will be generated will be good ones. I hope they feel ready enough for the AP exam in May. It's a long time between January and May-- we'll meet to review, but omg I hope they are okay. It always feels a little weird, this approach to the end of a semester. On one hand, it's great. I'm getting a bit tired of the "same ol' stuff" in APLang-- I can't wait to dig into literature with APLit. And the Creative Writing class sho...

It was a very busy weekend, but it felt good to do some fun things with Holly. And the Lessons and Carols concert at church last night was really great. It really re-set the tone/mood for me: Christmas is all about being together. Not stuff. And the homily at church yesterday morning was a ripper-- what a good homilist our parochial vicar is! He reminded us that God is with us. That simple. But that complex. And that He is delighted to help us with our deepest fears and concerns. We just have to let Him.  Ok. Good message, eh? We struggle because, in large part, we feel we have to. We have to do things on our own to prove our worth. That, I suspect, goes straight back to Puritanism, and it's a hallmark of American thinking. We don't ask for help. We are ashamed when we must. And we definitely, as a group, do not play well with others.  That all said, I woke up with a nagging cold this morning; it's settled in my sinuses in the back of my head, so my neck is a little stiff a...

Yesterday was a really great day, but I'm still tired. Why do I think I have the energy I used to have?  Ah well. We did basketball practice, and then we went to see The Nutcracker. Holly was entranced. The long sloggy walk down the slush-filled sidewalks was definitely worth it. =) Today, we have church -- Gaudete Sunday !-- I have to get groceries, there's papers to grade, hope to watch some of the Patriots/Bills game, and then I have rehearsal for this evening's Lessons and Carols.  Somehow, laundry has to be folded.  This break-neck pace is exhausting, but we will manage it. The tree is still upright.  All's well.  Have a good day, friends. Hold onto those you love. Let them be the anchor that keeps you sane. C

 Ah, the tree.  The Leaning Tower of Tree-sa.  The one with the floppy branches that don't hold much (thanks to the drought).  It's up, and it's as pretty as it can be--which, to be honest, is pretty good. I couldn't use all of our ornaments, because the branches are tender little things that can't hold much weight. The tree is sappy, but still, needles are dropping, too. Again, the drought conditions. But I'm pleased with it.  When G got home, we immediately went to work. First, we went in search of an extension cord. I could swear we had one packed in the deco boxes, but nope. So, G found one (which necessitated going out in the cold to the shed and rummaging in his tool box-- I asked, "why are your tools so far away from the place where you'll need them the most?"-- yeah, it's gotta be guy logic). Then, we had to move the tree-- stand and water and all-- because the cord would not reach. The charm of an older home: electrical plugs are few a...

Well, I took it upon myself to purchase the Christmas tree on my way home from work. It was already getting cold and windy again, and who wants to wait til 4:30 to go back out and do the tree selection in the dark and cold? Not I. So, I drove it home, then later went to pick up Holly with the tree still attached to the roof of my car. When G got home, it was a lot simpler for him to just untie it, cut the end, and we installed it in the front room. It smells great in here. Today, when G gets home, we'll do the lights. It's usually a tense situation (we do not work on lights well together), but we will manage it. Then, if we are really good with our time, at least we'll get some of the ornaments on it. I sure hope so. Tomorrow will just be too busy.  It seems I've packed (unwittingly? unwillingly?) a whole lot into this one weekend. Holly's got basketball in the morning, then we are going to see the local production of The Nutcracker, and I have to get some groceries...

That wind, though.  From 4am onward, the house was bashed and lashed by some pretty strong gusts, straining panes and causing the bones to creak.  I woke up. I couldn't sleep.  So, I'm a little tired. I fell asleep on the couch watching Food TV-- woke up just after the show ended.  Today, if we are lucky, we may get our tree. Yesterday's awful roads were a true deterrent to doing anything other than staying put. What a mess. It snowed all night, too-- so, we have about four inches of new fluffy stuff to deal with. White Christmas, more than likely. I'd bet on it.  After work, I'll hustle around upstairs in the Room of Requirement (the room in which all things hide, including the laundry) and pull out the Christmas decos for the tree. It needs to be done, regardless of whether we purchase the Holiday Shrub today or not; it's either today or tomorrow-- time's ticking, and I have a tight schedule.  I hate to put "tree doing" on the chore list, but it...

It's 30 degrees warmer this morning, 13 above zero. Snow in the forecast, of course. Work should be okay, and I might just have most of my students today. There are three field trips this week that take a few kids from here and there; it makes sense, given that cold/snowy weather is coming, but gee whiz. It's a rare day that I have all of my students, and since illness is an omnipresent thing, it'll likely stay that way. That's a really good reason why I stick with the Google Classroom. If they are out, they can consult it to see what might be coming due.  Not that they do, but it's there. Some do. Most don't. But it's a good CYA with parents! Yesterday, I had to erase two pages of my plan book and rework it yet again. Hooray for pencil, eh?  Other than the pecked to death by chickens vibe, all is well. I'm hopeful of getting a Christmas tree today when I get home, but first-- high school staff meeting. I'd like to at least buy the shrubbery, since i...

 It's cold again. Very. And I can't help but think of those who are living rough, who are unhoused or are "couch surfing" from patient friend to patient friend. Most of us are just a paycheck or two away from making those same hard choices.  The overnight shelter in Littleton is open, and there is a giving tree at the Coop with needs tags for them. There is an ongoing collection for basic necessities to benefit those who are having a rough time. There are several "little free pantry" sites. But it's not enough, and the need is growing.  When I hear from certain pundits that prices are down all over, that gas is about 2.00 a gallon, that an extra dollar or two won't break anyone... I get steamed. Seriously angry. How dare they spout such fallacies? I've read "so what if beef is a dollar or two more a pound" too many times lately. When hamburger is a luxury item, there is something radically wrong.  Health care costs are already spiking, ...

Woke up to 8 degrees. And snow. And dark.  It's flat out wintery. I'm still clinging to the hope that we'll be able to go to the Nutcracker, but Old Man Winter and Momma Nature are being cranky. It's not until Wednesday, so maybe? I hope so. Either way, I think I'll keep the personal day I have scheduled-- I could use a day to get some holiday stuff and probably laundry done. What are we doing today, on this cold and dreary-ish Monday? Work. My juniors in AP Lang are working their way (happily!) through Braiding Sweetgrass , and I think we are scheduled to do another practice essay on the College Board website. The Brit Lit kids are reading Dickens' Hard Times ; I hope they see the connections, especially with the character of Bounderby. It's kind of hard to miss.  Other than that, it's a matter of survival until the break-- I'm in sore need of some quiet time.  On the fun side of things, we went to the bookstore to hear Santa read The Polar Express ...

After a relatively "warm" day yesterday (hit around 30), the temps are crashing again. I went to bed and it was 28; it's currently 13. The whole week's supposed to be cold, but tomorrow's predicted high is 13.  That said, at least it's not snowing. Today, after church, I am hoping to get a few holiday-ish things done. We'll see how it all goes. I don't like the whole overwhelm/pushing string vibe I've been feeling lately, so maybe it's time to let go of a few things.  I hope your day is amazing. Hold onto your loved ones. Light the second candle for Advent. It's supposed to represent peace. We sure need it. C

UP, and it's cold and dark. Well, less cold? It "warmed up" from negative 3 degrees to a whopping 6.  That said, amen to the pellet stove. And to the husband who cleans it and fills it.  Today will be moderately busy, I think. Holly has basketball, and I have to get groceries. I want to bake muffins, and we are babysitting (she ain't no baby, but you know what I mean) this evening.  In the interstices, I hope to get laundry folded. It's a goal. Tomorrow is church, then an event at the bookstore to see Santa and hear a story, and then... I have no idea. I'd like to make turkey and dumpling soup.  Why are weekends so busy? Well, yeah, there are lots of answers. At least most of this weekend's plans are oriented toward fun things.  That said, I need to get my act together. We leave at 8:15, and I haven't finished coffee or showered yet.  Have a good day, and please, hold onto your loved ones tightly. It's not just the sky that's dark.  But yet, th...

It's dang cold.  Eleven below zero. And dark.  Normally, these are January/February temps, but hey, I'm not in charge. Holly was supposed to go to a tree farm field trip for school today, but we are keeping her home. The whole idea of a herd of little kids in these temps --with wind-- outdoors for several hours? Nope. She'll stay home and read books and bake cookies with Papa. I wish I could.  I hope you have a great day. I hope you have something special to hang your hat on. I hope that you can hold your loved ones close.  In hope, C

Okay, who ordered snow squalls? Gross.  It's cold, dark, and snowy. Yeah, it's winter (or, as my friend Ruth would say, it's not technically winter yet... but still...).  Last evening, I got to zoom with two of my poetry friends, and it was a lovely respite from all the crazy stuff. I highly recommend hanging out with friends, even if it is virtually.  Today, we begin Dickens in one class ( Hard Times ), and we start talking about Braiding Sweetgrass in the other. I'm grateful to be on "firmer" ground-- the AP Language roller coaster has kept me on tenterhooks all semester. I'm really glad to be easing into nothing but literature for a while. Research and factual writing are good, but they are not that exciting to read students drafts for, over and over again.  Do you ever wake up with a word in your head? I mean, just a word. I often wake up with a song running in my mind, which apparently is not something most people have happen. But every now and then I...

We got the snow. Admittedly, other areas got more, but my drive home from work was slow and nasty-- and I left at 12:40. I hope we don't get more for a bit. I don't like driving in it. And it's dang cold, friends. My house was cold when I got home, and it takes a bit for the heat to rise upstairs. Thus, flannels, bulky blankets, etc. Yup, it's winter.  These next few weeks are jam-packed; I'm in the process of trying to fit things in that are not "to-do" and more "want to do" but we'll see. Holly didn't get to see Santa last Friday, so we'll try it this Sunday at the bookstore; there will be a story time involved. I hope we can. I'd love to take her to the Colonial Theatre to see the Muppets Christmas Carol on the big screen, but that's a possible, not likely, thing for Saturday. She has basketball at 9am, but we'll see how the day goes.  Somewhere in the next week or so, we'll get a tree. I don't know that it'...

Snow in the forecast-- we have school (though many have canceled in the chance that we'll get walloped).  Here's another holiday offering from Pentatonix. It's beautiful! Titled, "The Prayer." "Give us faith so we'll be safe" hit me really hard this morning. The news cycle, as it has been for months, is so toxic and depressing. Families are not feeling safe. Communities are not feeling safe. I don't know how or when this cycle of ever-increasing dread and tension will end, but we need each other. Hold onto what hope you can muster. Love abundantly. Be there.  And be safe.  C

Woke up with this running in my head.  I hope your day is blessed. Stay safe. Hold your loved ones close. C Mary Did You Know? ( performed by Pentatonix ) Mary, did you know That your baby boy will one day walk on water? Mary, did you know That your baby boy will save our sons and daughters? Did you know That your baby boy has come to make you new? This child that you've delivered Will soon deliver you Mary, did you know That your baby boy will give sight to a blind man? Mary, did you know That your baby boy will calm a storm with His hand? Did you know That your baby boy has walked where angels trod? And when you kiss your little baby You've kissed the face of God Mary, did you know? The blind will see The deaf will hear And the dead will live again The lame will leap The dumb will speak The praises of the Lamb Mary, did you know That your baby boy is Lord of all creation? Mary, did you know That your baby boy will one day rule the nations? Did you know That your baby boy is ...