How we can (and will) survive the darkness--

I'm getting tired of pretending that the only things weighing on my mind are so trivial: garden, bears, weather, etc. It's getting so that washing floors feels pointless; I suspect that for many of us, the omnipresent gloom is a reality that can't be shaken off, even when we pack our waking moments with busy things. We can read, talk, listen to music, squabble, and laugh-- but the darkness is encroaching with a tsunami-like feel. I am often scared, and it's hard to live with.

What can we do in the face of so much danger, pain, loss, and confusion? Going about our daily business, enjoying life's simple pleasures, and finding other things to talk about besides the doom and danger in the news is an act of simple resistance. They won't destroy my life, it says, when we choose to laugh and love and shop for bananas. But I'm pretty sure that it isn't enough to just insist on living as we have, as we will to live. We need other people, too. 

Since the pandemic, and a little before (do we remember a before?), video calls and online meetings, classes, etc. have become a primary source of "seeing" other people. And yes, Covid variants still exist, as does influenza, RSV, and a host of other nasties that will soon be in ascendency, in large part due to the fact that public health safeguards are being dismantled --indeed, public health is apparently an option. So online groupings of people will continue to be the norm. But yet, that's one of the primary problems we will be facing, as well. 

I sat in church alone yesterday, surrounded by couples, families, and even people who have a dear friend to be with. Normally, I shrug this off, but it really hit my heart yesterday. Not all that long ago, we went to church as a family, and often went out to breakfast after. We'd join up with friends and make it an event, Sunday after Sunday. Not anymore; yes, there are scheduling reasons, and people have moved away and so forth-- but what really struck me is how much we need other people, in person, right beside us. We don't have to feel alone, and no Zoom call or video chat can really replace the in-person-ness. It's probably something to do with pheromones or whatever, but human beings are social creatures. We are hardwired to need other people, and our techno-age has removed us from one another. Yes, it's safer, and a lot easier, and cheaper than travel, etc. But we need community. 

Online communities are not a satisfactory replacement for sitting with someone and having a cup of coffee and chatting. Online communities are nice to keep in touch, they are useful in their own ways, but when we are feeling so fragile, so bombarded, so besieged, we need to have a hand to hold. I'm very concerned about young people making "friends" with chatbots, that, in turn, have an unsettling control over the emotions of teens-- even to the extent of suggesting that they commit suicide. Or that help them plan other means of harm to themselves or others-- how to make a bomb, build a gun, how to starve themselves, etc. 

We need to gather. We need to support our local businesses, get to know the clerks and owners, frequent farm stands and bake sales. We need to show up to community concerts, plays, book clubs. We need to stroll outdoors along the river walks and smile at strangers. We need to hold hands and feel the strength that can only come from being together. Go to picnics, restaurants, block parties, and school socials. For too long (and I am just as guilty of this), we have said, O that's nice, glad it's there, but I don't have time...

We are running out of time. We will only survive this long darkness of uncertainty if we have each other. It will take a shift in behavior for most of us, but we need to find our communities in person. Not just the folks we work with, but those with whom we share other spaces. Instead of hustling in and out of places, we need to smile, to chat, to take some time. We need to extend a hand in friendship and in solidarity. There is a true, indefatigable strength in numbers. But those numbers need to be present to win.

In friendship and hope, and please hug your loved ones...

C