Into the Wild Wood and Home Again

The rain and cold temps continue. It was unfortunate that the icy weather ruled the day yesterday; only three people attended my book launch. It was okay, though. We had a nice conversation about things all throughout and after. And the Coop put out nice pastries and coffee, and I got to take home a pretty vase of tulips as well. I sold one book! All in all, not too bad. Now that the book launches are done, I can focus on other things. April is National Poetry Month, and I want to rededicate myself to the creative process. I will write a draft every day. They won't amount to much, at least at first, but a steady date with the Muse is required in order to get anything written. And I have not written diddly squat except this blog and cranky social media posts in a very long time. I have books to review, too. Time to get back at it and stop mourning the news cycle. My summer weeks are filling up, too. I have registered for the AP Summer Institute that will take up five days straight i...

It's raining and 31 degrees. I'll be watching church on the livestream today; I don't like ice, and every road to the church is a hill. Seems like a metaphor of some sort, but I'm not really ready to plumb the depths of that one. That said, my book launch is still on for later today; it's supposed to warm up and just be rain. I sure hope so. I don't want anyone to risk driving in bad weather, and I don't want to reschedule (not sure I could, anyhow)-- so, we'll leave that up to fate. Have you ever bought a new article of clothing for an event, and then it doesn't happen? I have a pretty new sweater for today. I hope I get to wear it. In the meantime, I'm just trying to wake up. I did a ton of house stuff yesterday, and today I'm feeling a little groggy. I also binge-watched a series on Netflix; Mid-Century Modern . Now, I like Nathan Lane, and I loved Linda Lavin (her last work was this show). It was okay--not great, some funny bits, but I pr...

I am so glad I decided to get groceries yesterday afternoon. Typically, I don't like doing that on Fridays; I'm tired, and there's a bunch of people I have to navigate around clustering in the aisles. I much prefer Saturday mornings. That said, the predicted snow is upon us, four inches already and snowing hard. Yuck. I'll be home all day, and that, my friends, is fine by me. I have some smallish chores to do anyhow-- vac/dust/wash floors/fold laundry... domestic orderliness.  I may watch a movie. I may read. I will likely do both. I might send out some poems. I already cleared my academic desk pretty much this week, so I don't have grading stacked up. I'm hoping that this weather yuck clears so that my in-person book launch party at the Coop goes okay tomorrow. I would like that off my mental desk, as well. Fun, yes, but it's time to move on and do some new things.  I've procrastinated a whole bunch on getting into the next poetry collection I'm sup...

Ahh, spring.  About 2:30 this morning, I woke up-- what is that smell??  Yeah, a skunk had discharged right beside the house. O my goodness. The lingering aroma still permeates the first floor. I'm just grateful I was able to get back to sleep.  It's not as cold this morning-- almost 30 degrees-- but we have some sloppy weather coming in, according to the forecast. I'm grateful for forecasts, actually. And now that the accuracy and availability of those prognostications is under threat, I'm curious just how things are going to work. Yes, we can look out the window, but longer range planning might get a bit tricky.  The effects on business, on travel, on just about every aspect of commerce and daily life will be felt keenly if we have to subscribe to a service in order to get warnings of extreme weather events. I see X is on the spot for this, too-- shouldering their way into NOAA, and monetizing every damned thing in sight. Couple that with the proposed (and POTUS-ap...

It's unusual for G's bees to make it through these north country winters, but somehow, at least at the moment, one of his hives survived. He's feeding the bees; there are no blooming things for them to forage, and the temps have dipped back into the 30s and 40s for daytime highs. Ah, March. What a tease. The other two hives did not make it, but they are chock full of honey. It's been a good many years since we've had any to process, jar, and sell, but we have a few, and it's a lovely amber glow in little half-pint jars.  We certainly do not process honey to make any real money on it, but I've already promised out three of the first five jars. Local honey is good for you, especially if you have allergies, and this is the least-processed form: G takes chunks of laden comb, puts it in a hand press, and lets it drip into a bowl. The process reminds me of Keats' " To Autumn ," where he, speaking of a "cyder press" says, " with patient...

Mother Nature has given us the cold shoulder. The long-range forecast calls for highs in the 30s and 40s, not reaching 50 until April 5th. I, for one, am not amused by the days of sleet and cold. I'm hopeful that the messy weather that might come at the end of the week doesn't ruin my book launch party at the Coop on Sunday-- that would be unfortunate, to say the least.  But none of that will change the course of human events, so I'll just put that aside. The news cycle continues to be horrifying-- this time, the powers that be are thinking of getting rid of much of the federal court system, just because they think they can. We've gone far beyond Constitutional crisis, and we are deep into dystopia. I can't even keep up: draconian measures continue, the courts keep trying to rein things in, the measures get worse... for the rest of us, the spectre of not being able to pay bills through the mail efficiently, or not knowing if there will ever be a way to retire financ...

All of the threats and promises to severely cut funding to libraries, arts organizations, and essentially all the things that make up a civilized life are wearing pretty hard. These are all centers of communal life, positive ones, that balance out the cruddy or boring parts of daily living. Without music, art, theatre, libraries, and, dare I say it, schools-- well, where would we be? And, in the current state of things, where will we be? Every militaristic society in the history of the world ended up failing. The ones that shared culture through arts left us permanent reminders of the beauty of things, of humanity, of thought itself. At the end of Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 , there is a group of learned people who have memorized entire sections of sacred text and other books: they have become the texts, and they live rough. They are called hobos, but truly, they are the keepers of community, of the collected knowledge, and they will guard the stories for the times that will inevitab...

Well, that was a pretty decent weekend. I did as little as possible (just necessary house stuff), and spent a lot of time with Meg and Holly, and then G yesterday as well. The temps were cold, but not impossible to deal with, and the sun felt pretty spring-ish. I made good meals. I read a little and watched a few programs on TV. In short, I recharged my batteries. I hope I can carry this sense of "normal" into the week; I've avoided getting too wrapped up in the news cycle-- yes, I know about the atrocities that are happening, and it's hard to bear-- but it felt good to focus on things I could control directly, and to take an intentional break for my own mental health. My family matters, and I can help them as I help myself. I will also extend a hand to those others I can help, but I have limited resources. I am no good to anyone-- especially myself-- if I deplete the stores and the well runs dangerously dry. Patience is critical, and I'm notoriously impatient. I...

Spring allergies. It doesn't matter that it was 15 degrees when I got up; the trees are popping early leaves, and I, as a result, am sneezing and wheezing.  Sigh. Gonna take another quiet day. Yesterday was good-- got a few chores done, but generally just spent time with family and took the day as it came. I'll do that again today.  One thing all of this existential crisis/ chaos is really driving home is that we need family-- both chosen and the ones you get by biological association. Holding those whom you love close goes a long way to keeping the emotional barricade secure. Have a good day, C

Brisk and sunny Saturday.  I'm giving myself some "space and grace" to do as little as possible today. My brain is tired, my body needs rest.  I'll do the necessary, but mostly, I want to just enjoy some time that is unscheduled.  I hope you do the same. C 

Pouring rain again. And dark.  The news cycle continues to terrify everyone, for a whole lot of reasons.  I find it really hard to keep putting on bigger and bigger blinders. What's going on will negatively impact every single person I know in some way --  I don't know any billionaires. And even they may find it hard to fathom where we are now, if our foreign policy goes into the dumpster fire. Without going into hard details, this trend toward complete isolationism, both foreign and domestic, is unhealthy, and extremely unwise.  But I said I would stay in my lane, and that is everything to do with education and kids and taking care of vulnerable folks-- and with the chaotic aftermath of an EO that lacks any real details about how things will function, education is directly in the crosshairs.  At least at the local level, we have support in most of our small towns, and that says a lot. The average person recognizes the need to take care of kids, to educate them ...

Last night's zoom book launch for Joann and me went even better than expected, and I'm so darn grateful for all of the people who showed up, and for our friend Jaime who did a great job hosting the event! It was fun! I wasn't even nervous! Imagine that. Now, I just have to figure out how to do the in-person party on the 30th at the Coop.  I was in a warm bubble of good words, great conversations, and lots of accolades last night. Everyone seemed to have a good time, and people were slow to "leave" the zoom-room-- always a good sign. We need community in these dark days.  It's my hope that such good feeling, such a sense of belonging and togetherness, will help us sustain what is right and important to us. Just taking a quick glance at the news this morning is already starting to deflate that pink bubble.  To know that all of our norms are shattered, libraries and concerts and all that makes us human are threatened-- even basic things like food, air, and water-...

It appears that the official governmental policy regarding avian flu is FAFO. RFK, Jr. (Captain IDK) has suggested that the best course of action is to let the disease run rampant, and then scientists would know which birds are immune.  UM. No. Chickens and turkeys don't have the gene to be immune. And every infected bird is another chance for the virus to mutate. And now people can get it, too. And cats. And cows.  We need a saner policy in place. Here we go: another pandemic exacerbated by ignorance and politics. Shaking my head til my brain rattles. C

Cold temps are back again this morning-- after a day of heavy rain and some minor flooding, now everything is frozen solid. March tries the soul. Today, I have a pretty "average" day planned: work, then home, then a short webinar tonight with the poet James Crews titled Writing as Refuge . Like so many of us, I have been scattered and upset at the daily negative news onslaught. I'm looking for safe haven, at least emotionally, at this point. Maybe this will give me some good ideas.  On the positive side of things, I had a poem accepted in Touchstone , which is the print and audio version of the Poetry Society of NH's publication. This comes at a good time; while fleeting, this sort of affirmation helps me stay in my writing lane. I know other people write and write without any need for acknowledgement, but I need a nod here or there. It's probably rooted in my "good student" drive for gold stars. Whatever the cause, it's nice to have a poem finding a...

St. Patrick's Day-- We all need a prayer, I think. Have a good day, C I arise today  Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity, Through belief in the Threeness, Through confession of the Oneness of the Creator of creation. I arise today Through the strength of Christ's birth with His baptism, Through the strength of His crucifixion with His burial, Through the strength of His resurrection with His ascension, Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom. I arise today Through the strength of the love of cherubim, In the obedience of angels, In the service of archangels, In the hope of resurrection to meet with reward, In the prayers of patriarchs, In the predictions of prophets, In the preaching of apostles, In the faith of confessors, In the innocence of holy virgins, In the deeds of righteous men. I arise today, through The strength of heaven, The light of the sun, The radiance of the moon, The splendor of fire, The speed of lightning, The swiftn...

(Not my daffies-- I put mine in an Irish coffee glass mug!) I bought a small bundle of mini daffodils yesterday. The weather was glorious, I'd survived doing the taxes (barely), and there they were at the Co-op, cute little bouquets of springtime. I'm glad I did; they brightened up my mood considerably.  Today, after I read at church (and it's a long reading!), G and I are going to try to go out to breakfast. Hopefully, the out-of-staters have discovered that the skiing is probably pretty much done with (though I'm sure there are die-hard slush skiers), and we can get a seat at the diner.  All good things. Yes, I have to grade some papers, but I did a stroke of work yesterday, and that's all that's left on my to-do list. And I am going to do the Irish-American dinner today: corned beef (in the crockpot), soda bread, veggies, and I'm making a blueberry pie. If it's nice again, I'll open the windows, too. I did for about four hours yesterday, and the h...

No bears in my dreams. That's a good sign, right? Instead, I woke up with U2's "Walk On (Ukraine)" in my head. It's a powerful acoustic version of one of their older songs. I hope that Ukraine survives this horrific fight and the betrayal they are feeling.  Anyone else getting weary? I sure am. But to give up is not an option. We can't fight in every arena, though. Picking a few --or one-- to care deeply about is exhausting enough. In NH, the state legislature seems hell-bent on gutting public education; on one hand, they wanted to dilute what an education looks like, then, they want to have a state-imposed spending cap on per pupil costs, regardless of the actual costs of things like electricity, special ed, etc. With the feds cutting off sources of aid, this will devastate small schools and pit angry taxpayers against the schools they need in their towns. It's untenable. Add to that this foolhardy "voucher" system-- expanding that will suck li...

Busy brain/ busy dreams are back. The last two nights, I've had dreams involving bears. Two nights ago, it was a bear that threatened our beehives, but the metal cage around them held. Last night, I found myself with a few others at the Boy Scout camp here in Littleton, which is up in the woods. We were safe, but the evidence of bears was all around us. There were white-tailed deer gathered in the trees, headed up by a huge antlered buck, with a smaller buck hanging in the back. Does and yearlings were all on alert, and the loud crack and rustle of a bear hidden from sight made both deer and humans nervous. What can this mean? I've never dreamed of animals, let alone wild ones in the woods. Symbolism? Maybe. The bear has long been associated with Russia. The large buck looked so much like the stag on the Scottish banner. Is the UK going to stand up against Russia? Are we needing protection that may not hold? I'm Scottish by heritage; does this refer to me? It really looked ...

We are fully in 1984 mode. Congress passed the unbelievably dystopian idea yesterday that "each day...is not a calendar day" when it comes to the tariffs and so on. Without getting into the messy, horrifying chaos that envelops our daily lives (you already know), that statement shakes me to the core. People are already so confused they don't know which end is up. Every norm that citizens have been raised on has been upended, and the dust isn't even settling yet-- the upheaval has so many aftershocks it's impossible to keep track. I don't understand the plan. This is not just a little inconvenience-- people's actual lives, not to mention their emotional state, are in such turmoil that functioning is starting to falter a lot. The weather forecasts are starting to suffer, even.  It's hard to see what the end game is going to look like, but it's not good. C

I have a meeting today with a small group of colleagues to determine the best path towards developing an AI usage policy for students. (Does that sound boring? It probably will be.) I have serious reservations about using AI in the classroom; yes, it has potential upsides, but the downsides, coupled with teenaged machinations, are omnipresent. We can write all the policy we want, but ultimately, the teachers will have to both instruct students on how acceptable use looks and they will have to design assignments in such a way that the cheating is not possible. Good luck to us all, eh?  Cue pen and paper, in my room. I've seen enough bad/ incorrect AI-generated stuff to know that I would not trust it for much. Case in point-- and this is funny-- I saw a meme on FB the other day that showed a bunch of straw brooms standing upright in the aisle of a hardware store. It takes patience, but it can be done. That said, the caption read, "why bassoon playing is not allowed in hardware s...

I am always nonplused when I see a news article about a naked person driving a car. Why do it? In summer, the seats are hot and sticky. In winter, one's bits would freeze. And it must be hellacious to be detained when the police show up to pull the car over and process the driver. It puzzles me. There is no upside that I can see. Frankly, it's odd.  Delusional behavior is beyond rational comprehension, at least to me. And there is plenty enough of that going around.  Have a good day. I love metaphors, too. C

I've been reading vociferously, finishing a novel in a week (unusual for me, at least these last several years). I have a huge TBR stack of books, so I won't be running out anytime soon. And I have two poetry collections --wait, three-- that are waiting for my attention, that I have promised to write reviews for. When I was a young person, and especially in high school, I read as escape. It was not for classes, it was not to improve my mind, it was, in the simplest sense, placing myself where I was not.  Given the chaotic dumpster fire on wheels that confronts us every single day in our waking moments, I'm pleased I have a "place" to go. I've also binge-watched some fairly entertaining programs on Netflix and Amazon Prime. I'm filling my time and my brain with characters who are leading other lives than mine, who are confronting silly things like meddling dads who want you to reconsider renovating a villa in Italy or serious things like suppressed murders....

  Today's responsorial psalm provides us with strength and hope. From Psalm 91 : If you say, “The  Lord  is my refuge,”      and you make the Most High your dwelling, 10  no harm will overtake you,      no disaster will come near your tent. 11  For he will command his angels concerning you      to guard you in all your ways; 12  they will lift you up in their hands,      so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 13  You will tread on the lion and the cobra;      you will trample the great lion and the serpent. The response after each verse is "Be with me Lord, when I am in trouble." This short prayer is something I needed to hear today. With faith in God and with faith in each other, we will come through the darkness.  In hope, C

Sugar snow.  Big, fat flakes that look like lacy doilies, drifting and settling on my car. The front walk is deceptive: snow covering yesterday's freeze-and-melt, ice-- treacherous-- an unexpected jolt and slide. It's Saturday, so I can watch nature's handiwork, the prank of it, the fluttering beauty and danger in equal measure. Soon enough, I'll have to go outside, shopping bags in hand, and confront the fuzzy landscape, and wink at the robin, all puffed up and huffy, who waits patiently in the branches of the still-twiggy crabapple tree. There. It's not quite a poem, but it's something. The miasma that has been choking off my creative brain might be lifting, at least for a moment, like a nosy old woman shifting a curtain aside to watch the mailman deliver the day's fliers.  There, there's another metaphor. I sure hope my poem-brain comes back soon. This dull, beating, horrid feeling needs to go. C

Winter's back again. Sixteen degrees. March does this, though. But the ice is epic; yesterday, we hit around 50 degrees, and the melting/flooding was in full swing. Thus, my front walk was a luge run. G sanded it this morning when he took the trash barrels out to the curb-- I appreciate it. The last thing I need is to fall (again).  And it's Friday. Amen. Sometimes, you just need a reset.  I wish we could hit pause/reset on the country. Fear has set in at just about every level, and that's disheartening. What can we say/ not say, teach/ not teach, have on our walls, shelves, etc. And who among our students will we be unintentionally hurting?  I didn't sign up to hurt kids. I'll figure it out, but the air is getting pretty thin and it's hard to breathe.  Have a good day.  C

It rained yesterday, it rained all night-- maybe this is it for the snowpack? I'm worried about icy spots, but that's part of the process, I guess. The physical world is not the only slippery bits I'm worried about. I spent almost all day yesterday not engaging in the news cycle, and it was helpful. I peeked at the news this morning, and it's all dismay, dismantle, disagreement... I'm fighting despair, and I know many of you are as well. I am struggling to find a bright spot, to be honest. This cold rain is a living metaphor. I hope your day is a good one. I will try my best to make mine a good one, as well.  Pray for our nation, our world, and each other. C

Full disclosure: I did not watch the SOU speech. I will not engage too deeply with reading responses. It's all political theatre; a theatre of the absurd, a tragedy, a failed play that, God willing, will fold soon. My heart hurts at all the damage done, the cruelty and haphazard wreckage, the chaos and confusion.  Today is Ash Wednesday, and we are asked to give up the things of this world that get in the way of our own introspection, repentance, and personal conversion. Conversion is not a one-time thing; it is a turning and returning to the source of what and who we are.  I've let the world's problems dictate my life far too much for far too long, and while I will still be disturbed and concerned, and I will dedicate myself to being one of the helpers, I can't let it consume me. See, getting too invested in the muck of it is a form of toxic gluttony, and it leads to despair (which is not traditionally one of the seven deadly sins, but it's often included.) Despair...

With the upcoming tariffs, I am getting more than a little nervous about car repairs. I was going to wait until April break to get the second round of brakes fixed, but now... it's already estimated at just under 600.00, and I don't even want to imagine what it would cost if I wait.  Such is the life of the average person right now.  It seems so discordant to see ads for concerts and trips and so on right smack up against photos of protests and the skyrocketing egg prices. Is half the country fiddling while the rest of us burn?  The news cycle is toxic. It's necessary to see what is coming, what has been done every single hour, it seems, because to put our heads in the sand will not help us make prudent decisions. But it's insanely painful to see the hurt and harm that is part of the plan. It's evil. Gather your loved ones close, stock up on food and toilet paper-- this is another sort of pandemic, and there is no cure in sight. C

Well, here we are... entering the "long stretch" of the school year. March and April roll on without a break until the very last of April, and then it's a sprint to the end of the school year. I don't really mind the unbroken schedule-- although it will be punctuated  by assemblies and other things-- because there's a lot to get done before the seniors depart. They graduate about a week before the rest of the kids can leave, so it's a hurry and a dash to get things done. And once April break happens, they mentally check out. So this is the time to accomplish just about all we (I?) want to get done. Seniors are a funny lot; they are both so grown up and so young. I know that I sound like I'm spouting platitudes, but it is really true. Of course, since I've seen the kids grow up literally from birth, some of them anyhow, it's hard to see them as burgeoning young adults. But they are. They'll make the same discoveries we all did, and for them, it...

From today's second reading: "Therefore, my beloved brothers and sisters, be firm, steadfast, always fully devoted to the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain" (1 Corinthians 15:58). I'll try. I'll try really hard. And I'm sure you will, too. There is a lot to do, and a lot pushing back against our best efforts, but we need to take a few deep breaths, maybe a cry or two, and then get back in there and do what needs to be done. Have a good day, and stay warm.  C

I'm in a bit of a slump, one could say. I'm struggling to keep a brave face on things, as I'm sure you all are as well. And I feel like I've somehow pulled inward, a sort of survival tactic. Time will tell whether this is the "new normal," or if I'll rally and be ready to face the world with my usual witty sarcasm and aplomb. I feel tempered, if that makes sense.  One thing that is a floating concern is the new "snitch line" that the federals have established, a phone number that anyone -- parents, other teachers, what have you-- can call in a complaint about a school or an educator, asserting that they are engaging in DEI. We already have a similar situation here in NH, but this adds another whole layer of angst.  Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. In other words, being a good human. If someone were to claim that my teaching Frederick Douglass' slave narrative or focusing on the contributions of Latinx or Indigenous people --or women writers!...