In praise of good conversation

Something novel happened last evening. G got home from work, and while I washed up dinner dishes, we just started talking about whatever-- actually, that's not quite true, I was telling him how much fun working with my sophomores is, and how we'd worked through the whole first act of Macbeth in an hour, and from there, the conversation just drifted comfortably from topic to topic. We ended up talking til 10pm! Just--talk. No television. We sat companionably, sipping wine and ranging through everything from things we've read or wanted to see (we made a date to watch a movie tomorrow night together), to how we feel about the losses we've sustained over the last ten years, to praying, and so on. It was remarkable. We haven't taken the time to just sit and talk in a long while. Too often, conversations are wedged between other things, and they focus on bills or to-do lists, or small grievances. This was refreshing. 

That all said, I slept well last night. I think one reason my brain goes fizzing off into stupid stuff and keeps me from sleeping is that I lack deep conversation with others. I mean real conversation, not just chatter. My brain needs to connect with other peoples' brains, exploring ideas and so on. I mean seriously-- we even discussed the similarities between Bocaccio's Decameron and Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. That kind of conversation is not part of my daily life, not since I was a student. Even in grad school, quite often the discussions were not all that interesting, unless there was a chance to talk one on one with the professor. I'm not suggesting that I'm smarter than others, not at all. I'm saying that my brain needs that kind of stimulation, and when I have that, I feel more "myself" than I do any other time. 

The summer conferences at The Frost Place that I attended for over 20 years afforded me that luxury of deep engagement, and the online workshops and seminars do that, too. I'm sad in some ways that I will not be heading to Monson, Maine in July to continue my friendships and to learn and talk with people I really enjoy getting to know better. That said, I registered for the week-long Poetry Seminar through the Frost Place that will be held entirely online in August. I can feel the thirst for conversations with other writers growing already. 

One thing we do not have here in my busy little town in northern New Hampshire is this sort of discussion group. I wish I had a writing community to meet with in person. I wish there were a robust book reading and discussion group-- there are some, but mostly they meet during the work day, or the books they are reading are not the sort I can dig into. I feel adrift a lot, and it's because my brain gets bored and stagnant. 

So that's probably a big reason I've felt a bit out of sorts or cranky or antsy. I like what I do with the kids at school, but that is not the same thing as meeting others on the same level of understanding. Guiding young ones along the path has its own joys and challenges, and watching them make connections is really wonderful. But it doesn't feed my busy brain in the same way. 

At any rate, G and I are supposed to watch Killers of the Flower Moon on Friday night, assuming nothing else comes up. If it does, so be it. We'll move the date, not cancel it. 

I hope you have a super day. Stay dry-- it is still raining, some areas are flooding, and it's generally mucky and muddy out there. Be safe.

C