So much brain-static--




I've felt the pressure of time lately; some of it real, much of it existential. I can't seem to mentally or physically catch up, and it's worrying me. I have things I want to do, things I must do, things I can't seem to fit in-- and there are things slipping through my fingers seemingly every single day.

That's a lot of things, and I didn't type any specifics. Writing, deadlines, chores, paperwork... all of it. What I want to do is sleep until I wake up fully, without alarms or panic. Or do something-- almost anything-- that fills my brain and heart and soul with peace and beauty. 

I should stop doom-scrolling. The weather should improve. Reading the newspaper first thing in the morning only underscores how petty and desperate so many people are, and how very little I can impact any of it. It's daunting.

There is a long list of things that upset me, varying from students' parents taking them on mini-vacations in the middle of a school week (like we have nothing going on?) to the GOP Toxic Fest 2024. The situations in Venezuela, Haiti, Gaza, Ukraine, Somalia, Sudan...

The fact that there is a bunch of sand and crushed stone in the front lawn from plowing. The myriad things around the house that need to be fixed, painted, cleaned, etc. 

My fuzzy and buzzing brain needs a long rest. I don't know how to shut it all off, but I sure wish I knew how. 

Maybe I just need some sunshine and warm weather.

I hope you have a peaceful day,

C


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