Grandparenting: A blessing and a silent national crisis

How quickly we fall out of practice.

G and Holly arrived at 4:55 this morning, at the front door. I was supposed to be up and have the side door unlocked-- they beat me by five minutes. What a start! I heard the front door and panicked that I'd overslept, but nope, they were a few minutes early. Then, there was the rush and tumble of early morning, sans coffee... shot out of a cannon much? Holly is in great spirits, so there's that blessing. 

We got our morning off to a better start than I'd figured. But omg-- we had such a good system figured out when we were Holly-watching during that long month and a half-- and now, we're figuring it all out again, on the fly. 

She's been changed twice already, and she's dressed and has had her milk. Peace reigns. PBS Kids for the win. We'll have breakfast in a little bit, and then we'll tackle the getting-bags-and-kid-to-the-car-and-in-the-car-seat. It's 8 degrees, so that adds to the challenge-- the car seat is cold, the car is cold, and my hands, fiddling and fighting with the buckles, will be cold. Bleah, winter. 

But we'll manage just fine. Because we do what we can, as best as we can. Holly will spend the day with Miss M. and Baxter (the fluffy white dog), and I'll pick her up when I'm done for the day, around 2pm. Hopefully, she'll have had her nap, so we won't have to fight that. I have to remind myself, I can only control what I am presented with, and that's out of my purview. 

God bless and help the grandparents who take this on full-time. In our country, there are so many little ones whose parents are not able, or who are not present for a variety of reasons, and the elders have to step in and step up. Our once-a-month stint is nothing compared to those who have to raise their grandchildren, often unaided, often on too little or no income. Our system is broken; generations ago, when people lived in multi-generational homes, it was not unusual or even the same kind of burden of love. Now, with families scattered around, it presents real challenges, ones that our social network does not assist enough. And the energy level it takes to chase after little ones alone is an ever-present challenge. As a country, this is something that we need to address, but there are so many issues already that seem even more pressing, at least to the lawmakers in charge of decision-making in government. Food, heating, housing, education, clothes-- those are all expenses that our already stretched elders have to face, and to keep up with the very real needs of little ones --growing ones-- is more than many can bear without assistance. Yes, it often takes a village to raise children-- but the elders in our communities need help. Child care, extra meals, transportation to and from sports and school events-- those are things that are often unaddressed. It's heartbreaking.

G and I are so lucky. We are relatively healthy, young enough, and we have Holly on a very part-time basis. Her parents love her, are together, and they live next door. The grandparents who are taking on parenting all over again, full-time, need our help. I see first-hand what the challenges are, and I'm glad we can meet them. I feel deeply for those who can't. 

Have a good day,

C