Carl Jung, the Self, and what am I worth?

 

“The world will ask who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you.”

― Carl Jung

This quote was embedded as part of yesterday's homily at church; the context was in reference to our relationship to/with God, but even outside of that context, the quote resonated with me.

Who am I, to me? That's a tough question to wrangle with. I know what and who I am, as I am in relationship to others: family, work, community, etc. Daughter, mother, sister, wife, teacher, employee, friend... but who am I, to me? 

We are raised to be dissatisfied, aren't we? We are not thin enough, smart enough, well-spoken enough, rich enough, helpful enough, and so on. To be satisfied, to be enough for oneself is a really hard task, especially after feeling "less than" in so many ways for one's entire lifetime. We are cautioned not to let our heads swell, not to be overly proud, not to feel we have "it" all together. Puritanical bull-pucky.

I'm beginning to really realize just how much dang hogwash that is. Shutting off/ shutting up that hypercritical voice that lives in my head and heart is going to take a lot of work and setting firm boundaries with myself. What causes this sense of innate failure? It's perfectly fine to want to do better, be better, get better at things. Striving to achieve for one's own self ought to be a joy, not a task to please others. 

Do this for... mommy, daddy, teacher, boss... the list of external pressures is almost endless. The poet John Milton, in his Sonnet 19, says,

 “Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?”

   I fondly ask. But patience, to prevent

That murmur, soon replies, “God doth not need

   Either man’s work or his own gifts; who best

   Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best."

   This is Truth; God does not need my work. I do. Those I love deserve my best, but as I have it to give, not as demanded. Those students I teach, the people with whom I work, should receive my better efforts, but as I am able to do things, not as they would require them. I should work the hardest to prove my own worth to my own satisfaction. 

That is one way, I think, that leads to knowing oneself. What am I worth, to me? 

A lot to ponder.

Have a good day,

C