The Gold Sticky Star of Publication...

It's May, and I see there are dozens of calls for submissions. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being indiscriminate or smart: am I appearing to be desperate, or is it a numbers game? I don't just toss poems to the wall to see if they stick, though. I mean, I check out the online presence of any journal now (there were a few missteps a while back-- learned my lesson!), and I send poems out to "reach" journals as well. 

That said, sometimes I wonder if I'm trying too hard. I wanted to build my publication CV, and I think I have done that. I've noticed, perhaps coincidentally, that once I had a list of reputable publications on my list, getting other journals to notice seemed a little easier. But not always. 

There's also the submission fees. Taken individually, they are small, but when you start sending out a few at a time, it adds up. This is generally pocket change, but I shy away from those "contests" that want 15, 18, 25 dollars per submission. Hard nope. 

I have a list of journals I would love to get a poem into, but for now, I guess, the regional and smaller ones are good for my weird little poet-soul. It excites me when I get a poem into a European journal (for a time, it seemed they were the only ones who liked my work). But I think the time is rapidly approaching when I should be even more selective. Maybe. 

In the meantime, I'm sending my little chapbook out to this and that, and we shall see. Those submissions cost money each time, and I don't have a lot of "fun money" to send out. I guess that makes you more selective, right? I will not go the self publishing route; somehow, that seems like "cheating," in the sense that the book didn't receive validation. But why do I need validation? ugh. 

That's the whole messy underbelly, isn't it? We write because we feel compelled by some inner voice, but then the whole publication process pushes us right back into classroom mode. We want to be seen. We want our stuff to go on the bulletin board for Parents' Night. We want that gold star-pat on the head-good job feeling. 

At least, I know I fall into that trap, over and over again. 

A lot to ponder.

Have a good day,

C