Speaking Up

What a weird week, eh? Maybe not for you, but mine has been. Not bad weird, just...requiring a different set of skills from me. I'm naturally compliant. Or maybe I'm not naturally so, but I was trained to be from toddlerhood, so I usually just do what I'm told, accept what I'm given, chafe a little bit privately, but go along because it feels like I can't push back against "the man"-- defeat du jour, if you will. 

Not this week. 

At work, I've negotiated and worked hard to craft a schedule for next year that makes sense for both students AND for me, and I think it'll be both exciting and interesting. I won't dig into the mucky bits behind the why, but it's enough to say that advocating for myself and what I know is needed is something I have not often done, and it feels pretty good. I honored my own needs and my boundaries. Let's see if it sticks. 

Yesterday, I did much the same, regarding an essay I'd written and that was published online. The editor had made some changes without running them by me, and I was uncomfortable with one of them. I asked for a change to be made, worked with the editor's input, and I think it turned out well. The ending of my essay was more aligned with the rest of it, and the other edits that did not change the essay substantively were fine. I spoke up in defense of my work and my words, and that mattered to me. 

Why should any of us sit and grumble in silence? Growing up, I was told to be quiet. I was not allowed a lot of choice, and I was made to be grateful for whatever I was given, even if the hand-me-downs were ugly, the food bad, or the job terrible. I don't think this situation is unique to me; I see this happening with females more than males in our culture, and I see it happening more often than I used to. I don't think it's because I'm noticing it more as I get older, either. Given the trampling that basic rights are getting in the US right now (and around the globe, really), teaching our youth to advocate for their needs is critical. (They are not "crisis actors"--they truly do not like getting shot at, for example.)

That is not to say that we need to raise a generation of whiners. Too often, advocacy is mischaracterized as whining, as claiming undue privilege. And sometimes it is, while young people (or minorities, or women) learn how to claim space for what is necessary and right. Speaking up with conviction and authority does not come naturally; this is a life-lesson that needs to be taught. 

I wish I'd learned it a lot earlier. 

Have a good day,

C